The Pain of Existing

Chapter 5

Hi again! Updates are still every Saturday, but if I miss one or two Saturday's in there, then assume that I'm either unable to get online, or that school gave me too much homework. :(

Filler chap :(

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.

Peter's P.O.V.

Eventually, I feel my eyelids growing heavy, and fall asleep.

"Peter, wake up." I groan, covering my face with the blanket. "It's breakfast time." JARVIS informs me. I sit up slowly, letting the words sink in. When I fell asleep, it was still light out.

"Wait, what time is it?" I ask.

"It is 8:27 AM." JARVIS states.

"Holy crap! How long was I asleep?"

"You were asleep for 14 hours and 53 minutes." My eyes widen in surprise.

"Geez, I didn't think sleeping that long was humanly possible!" I quickly change into something less awkward, and head down to the kitchen. Mister Stark and Steve were sitting at the counter.

"Well, hello there, sleeping beauty. Nice to finally see you up."

"C'mon Tony, give him a break," Steve said. "Hey Peter. How're you feeling?" I turn to Mister Stark for an explanation.

"I had to tell him, kid, but I promise no one else knows yet." I nod.

"I'm ok." I flash a small smile at them. "Thanks for asking."

"Oh, and here's some food. I figured you would want pancakes, but feel free to get something else if you want." Mister Stark handed me a plate with 2 big pancakes on it, slathered in butter and syrup. I take a few bites, but end up mostly sliding the pancake around in the puddle of butter and syrup on my plate.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Mister Stark looks at me worriedly.

"I'm fine." I frown. "Just not very hungry."

"How could you not be hungry? You haven't eaten since, what, maybe noon yesterday? Kid, you need to eat. At least have some bacon," he insists, shoving a plate with bacon on it toward me. I take the smallest piece on the plate, and nibble at it gingerly. Then Bruce walks in, lab goggles on his head.

"You need those to eat?" Tony remarks. Bruce swipes at the goggles, putting them down on the counter. He grabs a plate of food, and sits down next to me. His plate is completely full, with eggs, pancakes, toast, and some fruit salad as well. He digs into his breakfast, and it doesn't take him long to notice my lack of eating.

"Peter, is that your plate?" He points at my virtually untouched pancakes, giving me a pointed look.

"Yeah." I poke the pancakes with my fork. "I'm not really hungry." I twitch nervously under his unwavering gaze.

"Tony, Steve, do you mind if Peter and I talk alone?" They both immediately stand up to leave, and Bruce turns his attention to me. "Do you have the stress ball I gave you?" He asks. I nod, pulling it out of my pocket. "Ok Peter, so what's bothering you?" I unconsciously squeeze the stress ball while thinking of what to say.

"I don't know. I just feel terrible," I admit.

"How terrible?" Bruce questions. I think for a moment.

"Like I got hit by a bus," I decide. "Which has happened to me before, and trust me, it isn't pleasant."

"It doesn't sound great, either." He frowns, studying my face. "Any idea why you feel so horrible today?"

"Other than the fact that I'm in this situation in the first place, not really."

"Do you want to talk about it?" After a long pause, I nod slowly.

"It started a year ago, right after I became Spiderman." I take steady breaths, trying to remain calm. "It was the night my Uncle Ben died." Tears sprung to my eyes. "There... there was this robber. I could've stopped him, I was there, but I didn't." Now tears were rolling down my cheeks. "He shot Ben. And I didn't do anything to stop him. It's all my fault." I sobbed loudly. Bruce's expression was sympathetic.

"Peter, I had no idea. I'm so sorry," he tried to comfort me. I look up at him through teary eyes.

"Why do I have to lose everyone I love?"

SORRY

Also Aunt May isn't dead btw

I'm literally posting this at midnight whoops