Four Reasons (ON HOLD)

Chapter 15

~Elena's POV~

The remembrance of the days previous to this that I had lost in my mind somewhere, settled in my thoughts and that weight of grief settled back over my heart, since it had gone away with the loss of my memory.
The tears in my eyes that I had previously unused, were now threatening to spill over at the images of what I had lost. I looked at Tom, the tears brimming in my eyes.
"I remember," I choked out, and there was a moments pause before he leaned forward and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back, the realization of what he must be going through with all of this finally hitting me, and I clung to him tighter.
"I'm sorry," I choked out, holding him with all of my strength.
"For what?" He pulled himself away enough to look at my face.
"For what I've put you through. With filming, and me making a huge deal out of nothing... and Harrison." my voice cracked a little at Harrison's name.
"To hell with that, not a big deal my ass, he almost raped you!"
Both of us froze at the first actual statement of what happened.
"And as for filming, Jon said not to worry about it because we were ahead of schedule anyway," Tom said after a moment of letting his previous statement sink in.
"Were?" I questioned.
"Are," he revised his sentence.
"Do you know when they're gonna let me out of here?" I asked, watching as Tom sat back, fiddling with my hands intertwined with his.
"I think they said by the end of the day, if not then first thing in the morning," he still wouldn't look at me.
"By the way, where is Kate?"
"Oh right, she was here this morning, but then she went to check on Harrison and then bring food on her way back. She should be here soon."
"Oh, good," I smiled a little.
Just then, the doctor came back in the door. "Oh, it's good to see you're awake again. How are you feeling?" He asked, smiling.
"Like I got hit by a semi. But I'm okay," I chuckled a little.
"Pain?" He started writing stuff down on his clipboard.
"Not too bad, just my head. Um, when do you think I can get out of here?" I asked, looking up at the doctor.
"Well, if your head is feeling better in a little while, probably tonight," he finished writing stuff down and put his clipboard under his arm. He came over to me and did a few checkups, before smiling at me and nodding at Tom, then finally leaving.
"Thank goodness. I can finally get out of here." I muttered the last part.
"Don't like hospitals?" Tom asked with a smirk.
"No," I answered, completely serious, and Tom's smile disappeared.
"Oh," he looked back down at our hands.
A few minutes passed and the door opened again. Bright red hair flashed as Kate came waltzing into the room.
"Oh my GOSH!" She shrieked when she saw me sitting up and awake, dumping her load of food into the unsuspecting arms of my brother who had come in behind her, before running over to me and wrapping me in a hug that almost prevented me from breathing. Tom quickly got out of the way and stepped to the side, observing us as Kate practically smothered me.
"Kate, I can't breathe!" I gasped out and she let go of me with an 'oh'.
"You're okay!" She said happily, a hint of tears in the corners of her eyes.
"Of course I am, I'm tougher than that. You know me," I smiled, squeezing her hand in reassurance.
"I know, but you still scared me. By the way, DONT EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!" She freaked. "Or I might just die before you!"
The boys in the room chuckled and I laughed a little too.
"Okay, I won't," I grinned. "I'm happy you're here, Katie."
"Me too," she smiled back, sitting on the edge of my bed.
Tom came over and sat in the chair by the right side of my bed, and Grant sat on the left, handing the bags of food back to Kate, who happily distributed them. We chatted together for several hours, hearing about everything that happened at home since we left, from Grant, and we told him of our adventures when we first got here. Leaving out what happened after-party Friday night and everything after, up until Tom re-explained how I 'tripped' and hit my head, winding me up to the present.
By the time we finished talking, it was almost 9:00 PM, and the doctor came back. He had come to check on me periodically throughout the day, and now he was back again.
"Well, Elena, looks like we can finally get you out of here," he smiled after doing a few checkups on me for the last time.
"Yes!" All of us cheered, and Kate hugged me again.
"I'll go get the release papers for you to sign and you'll be all set," he nodded to all of us and left again.
"Speaking of, I brought you some clothes from the house," Kate said getting up and going to the bag she had set down by the door.
The doctor came back with some papers that I signed, before he said goodbye and left for the last time.
"Alright boys, out!" Kate said, snapping her fingers at the door. "My bestie needs to change."
"Right," they both said uncomfortably, getting up and going out.
Kate closed the blinds on the window and handed me the clothes she brought me. I stood up slowly, and slid on the shorts, before sitting back down and putting the shirt on. I was still quite dizzy when I stood up.
I sat still for a moment to let my head calm down before sliding on the flip-flops Kate brought and standing back up carefully. Kate opened the door for me, and as soon as she did, the boys were right there waiting and watching me to make sure nothing happened.
"Guys, I'm fine," I tried to get them to stop worrying about me and back up so I could actually walk somewhere. But knowing them, they wouldn't. However, I did notice that Tom was giving me a bit more space than Grant. The reason behind him staying father away from me, I knew, and it didn't feel very good.
Grant was rather close to me, his arms partially outstretched to catch me if I got too dizzy. I understood that he cared a lot, because he's my brother, but his close presence made my body tense up and my insides do an acrobatic routine.
"Grant," I looked directly at him. "I'm fine." His arms dropped to his sides and he took a step back, knowing very well what the tone of voice I used meant.
We made our way out to the parking garage and I decided to ride with Kate, still not comfortable with being in a small space with guys.
Having my memories missing was terrifying, but now I was wishing I could forget what happened; because not knowing made this gut churning feeling when I go near guys, go away. I hated this feeling. Even with Tom, and my own brother! The moment they would come near me my heart would thud out of my chest, my throat would close over, and my stomach would churn so violently I would almost throw up. And the images of being attacked would flash in front of my eyes.
Kate drove us back to the house with Tom following in his car and Grant behind him. I grew more and more unnerved the closer we got to the house because I knew that Harrison would be there. Kate noticed when we pulled up in the driveway and she put her hand on my shoulder. "He's not here," she said, and I let out the breath of air I was holding in. "He went to Zendaya's for a few days."
"Okay," I cleared my throat and got out of the car.
We all went inside and I went straight up to my room. Kate stayed downstairs with Grant so they could catch up with each other, and Tom slipped upstairs after me without my brother noticing.
I went in my room and Tom followed, closing the door behind him. Kate had put a few boxes of my stuff in my room and as soon as I set my phone down on my desk I went over and started unpacking them. A few minutes of silence passed by and I glanced over to see Tom leaning against the wall, watching me calmly. I kept working and a few more moments passed, when Tom cleared his throat. "Elena?"
"Yeah?" I muttered my reply.
"Are you okay?" He finally asked. His voice was closer and I figured he had pushed off the wall and come over by me.
I didn't answer at first. I knew I wasn't okay, and I knew he knew that too. I know he was only asking because he cared, but I didn't know how to answer him. However, I had to say something.
I opened my mouth to answer, but clamped it shut when I felt Tom lay his hand gently on my shoulder. My stomach flipped and I quickly shied away from his hand, shrugging it off my arm and stepping a little ways away. I still refused to look at him because I couldn't stand to see the pity in his eyes that I knew would be there.
"No," my voice almost cracked as I choked out my reply.
He didn't say anything back and I continued unpacking. I heard Tom walk away from me before there was a click and he muttered, "I'm sorry," as he shut the door between our rooms behind him.
I let out a sigh as the feeling in my stomach slowly ebbed away.
A few hours later I had finished unpacking  and organising, when there was a soft knock on my door. I stood up from where I was sitting at my desk and opened the door to see my brother smiling softly at me.
"Dinner's ready, if you wanna come down and join us," he said when I didn't say anything after opening the door.
"Okay," I said quietly, following him out of my room and down the hall.
We got downstairs and sat down at the dining room table. I sat at the opposite end from where I hit my head, which happened to be right next to Tom. I was mostly okay though, because he wasn't that close to me.
"Hey," Kate said, giving me a small smile. I smiled back at the same caliber.
There was silence between all of us as we passed the food around, and I notice as we started eating that all of them kept glancing at me like I would crumble into dust at any given point in time. It continued for almost five minutes before I couldn't take it anymore and I slammed my fork down on the table.
"Would you all please STOP looking at me like I'm going to break?!!" They all stopped eating and became extremely uncomfortable. "I'm not dying! I just got hurt! So please, for the sake of my sanity, stop treating me and talking to me and looking at me like I'm a five-year-old who can't take care of herself!"
None of them looked at me as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I am no longer hungry," I stood up from the table and went back to my room, refraining from slamming the door behind me.