Take Me Down The Rabbit Hole [SOMEWHAT EDITED]

Chapter 12: Unlucky

I wake that morning, cold air filling the empty space next to me. I panic.

Did he leave me?

I sat up so quickly that I started seeing dots.

"Hey, it's ok. I'm right here." Lukas was changing into his uniform.

"I needed to get my clothes. Besides, I thought you should sleep in for a bit."

I smile. I get out of bed, give Lukas a kiss, and go to the bathroom.

I take a quick shower, blow-dry my hair, brush it out, and walk back to my room. When I get back, Lukas is laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I get changed.

"What will happen if I can't protect you?" He says, out of the blue.

"What?" I say, while putting on my skirt.

"What if something happens to you and I can't be by your side?" He sits up. "Or what if I was there and I couldn't help you? Will you be disappointed in me?"

Why is asking this? Where is this coming from?

"Lukas, I've know since forever and you haven't done something to me that'll make me disappointed in you. I won't blame you. I don't want you to blame yourself if it wasn't your fault, either." I watch for a reaction. None. I continue.

"You don't have to be perfect for me, Lukas. If you don't make it on time, then oh well. Just know if anything does happen, I will come straight to you. Please, for me, don't think about that stuff. I don't want you feeling like you have to carry all of this weight for me. That's not what I want from you." I continue to examine his face, looking for something.

His face is expressionless but his eyes say it all. I can see the tears sparkling in those ocean eyes. (a/n i'm sorry-)

I watch as a tear escapes his eyes, only for him to quickly wipe it away and avoid eye contact with me. He's embarrassed.

I walk over to him and hug him. He instantly wraps his arms around me.

"I just want to protect you. To make you feel safe." His voice wavered at the last word and he pauses to recollect himself. He continues.

"You're too precious for me to lose."

My heart soften at those words. I tighten my grip on him, gently running my fingers through his hair. Comforting him.

"Lukas," I begin softly.

"I've always felt safe with you. Your presence makes me feel comfortable. Not once have I felt like I was in some sort of danger with you. You've always been there for me and you're someone I can reply on. Someone I can truly trust. Please, dont put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect. We're all flaws as human beings and that's ok."

He stayed silent. I let out a small sigh before saying,

"I love you, Lukas. And nothing, can change that."

☆

We stayed holding each other for a while. When he finally pulled away, I saw his eyes were red from crying. I gave him many kisses to make him feel better and also because he's adorable. It did cheer him up as he gave me a small smile afterwards.

I finished changing and we left to the cafeteria. Lukas held my hand on the way there. He held my hand until we went to reached the breakfast line.

After we ate, he wrapped his arm around my waist and practically pulled me into his lap. He snuggled himself into me and stayed like that until we had to leave for class.