15 - Maybe You'll Change Your Mind

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"He's an idiot who fell in love with a mortal, he's a complete utter idiot to fall in love with a mortal

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"He's an idiot who fell in love with a mortal, he's a complete utter idiot to fall in love with a mortal. Gods and angels don't simply fall in love with mortals. All it causes is heartbreak and disaster. Love is truly idiotic."

Eros was the truest idiot. One moment he's speaking of how magical and wonderful love is and how it's his job to find love for others, and now he's saying it's for idiots.

If it's for idiots wouldn't he be in love?

It was now Friday night (a quarter till midnight) and I was lying on my house's roof with a bottle of Snapple and my thoughts. The rest of the car ride this afternoon had been silent like many previous, I knew to not push him.

He like any human had his own problems and demons within, I only wished he'd speak more of his mind. But, for now, the small portions he lets me know is better than total exclusion.

And whether I liked it or not his outbursts and unseen problems troubled me, I don't know too much about him yet he all around troubles me.

His problems with myth Cupid, with falling in love, and with the world.

I've started to feel as if his problems became mine, was that friendship?

"Mind if I join you?" I hear a voice say in the dark.

I look down from the sky to see Eros with a hood on and a small smile.

He didn't wait for me to reply and sat himself down beside me, taking a swig of Snapple.

"Can I ask you something?" I blurt.

He glances over at me and nods in the moonlight.

"How come you're the only angel I've seen and met, aren't there tons more?"

He glances at me once more before saying, "There are. But, angels and gods aren't visible to the normal human eye unless there are certain circumstances."

I take a thing of chocolate and bite a bit.

"Then how can I see you?"

"I'm not a full fledged angel, you can call me a half-blood," he says softly.

He was maintaining a constant serene mood and actually opening up for once.

He continues before I can respond, "I'm so against humans and angels being together because it's unlawful, my parents broke the law of the heavens and mortal world. I'm a simple mistake in the universe."

But, he wasn't a mistake. If he was a mistake then what was I?

"Do you know who my parents are?" he asks, not allowing time for a response, "They're the two people we've been assigned to act as."

His parents, his parents were the two we were supposed to be. Cupid and Psyche. Eros and Orion.

"My mother is dead, she was killed and the one who killed her is placed on a pedestal. Cupid defied his own mother and kind to be with the person he thought he loved just for her to be killed," he says, his calm tone disappearing word by word, "Heartbreak, love is heartbreak and I can't ever love because I won't be able to handle heartbreak. I'm a reminder of a mistake; I'm whom the people in the heavens reference to when an angel believes they've fallen in love with a mortal. I'm a disgrace. A pity. A nothing."

All I wanted to tell him was that he wasn't anything of the sort but the words didn't come out and he only continued.

"My father despises me, I'm a shame. I'm literally locked out of heaven and the only thing I can do is make others happy to fill the void of my unhappiness."

I then took a leap of faith and spoke my thoughts for once, "You aren't a mistake in the universe. I mean sure you're arrogant a lot, cocky in times, and can be insanely uptight but that doesn't classify you as a mistake. And if in some way you are... You're the greatest mistake to happen to this world we call home. You create happiness and find people true love, now all you have to do is find love and happiness for yourself."

He doesn't respond and gives silence, I take this opportunity to continue, "I've got a somewhat interesting family line as well. My mom got knocked up at seventeen by the schools bad boy who later then left her when he found out, she then dropped out of high school. My parents weren't anything catastrophic like different beings but yet it feels like I'm somewhere in between and don't quite know who I am. But, ever since you came around and struck me with your painful arrow I feel as if I'm myself now and living the life I'm supposed to, figuring out who I ought to be."

"You ought to be something," he says with a small smile.

"I love your smile," I say quietly, taking his hood down from his head.

He just gives me the gentle smile.

"I like yours better," he begins, "And that's why I've got to protect it."

I give him a confused look, the phase where I'm in awe as to him saying he likes my smile doesn't come due to his following statement.

"What do you mea-" I begin just to feel a hand over my mouth.

He puts his hood of his jacket back onto his head.

He then says a selection of earth shattering and heartbreaking words. (if I had a beating heart it would have broken)

"I think we shouldn't see each other anymore, or at least for a while," he says, staring at the stars, or rather avoiding my eyes.

He then gave one last smile under his shielding hood and took the ladder down the roof.

Like how he was locked out of heaven, I was locked out from his never beating heart. He broke my heart before it had the chance to beat.

I thought I might have felt something in my chest the moment he walked away, but maybe it was just all in my mind.

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