Beneath the Vivid White Coats

Him: "Whatever we are, whatever we make of ourselves, is all we will ever have."

Every day takes me closer to what I've always dreamt of. The only thing that I've always dreamt of. Or the only other thing. The other thing that's plausible to achieve.

A doctor. A physician. A healer.

I love college. I always thought I would love college. It was a break from the thing that I called home.

I lost my mother when I was 8, to an accident in a car that dad was driving. While being drunk, in the middle of nowhere. If only we had some timely help, she would be here with me today. This is what drove me to take up medicine. It is not my passion, it is my guilt that has driven me. Guilt for not being able to help, to save a life, that meant everything to me.

It's just me and my dad at the place that was once my home. I don't like to think of that place as home anymore. My college, my dorm with my two friends, Shrey and Aarav has been my home for the last four years or so. Shrey and Aarav are the only people that I've let into my life. They are not just my friends, they are family. They are the only people I could talk to about everything. And they always stand with me and partake with everything I do.

Medicine. I never thought it was going to be a cake walk. I love the life, it's busy, it keeps your head occupied and rid of the wasteful thoughts. I love all the studying, I love the big fat books, I love meeting different people, and I am grateful to the fact that somewhere I am able to help them. There's something else I've grown to like, it's the gym, helps me channel all of my unhappiness. Regrets. My loneliness. Me.

Yet, I can say I am, indeed, thankful for the life. I am grateful for all the 24years of my life. I am thankful for who I have become. And as my favourite quote goes, "Whatever we are, whatever we make of ourselves, is all we will ever have—and that, in its profound simplicity, is the meaning of life." By Philip Appleman.