16 years ago,
I can't sleep in the night anymore. I haven't yet found any way around my troubles.
When I finally fall asleep, I dream about playing, this time on the white clouds, surrounded by the beautiful blue clear sky. I'm happier. That's when I hear my butterfly's cough. I see her on another lying motionless on another cloud. I run up to her, frantically try to wake her up. But then she doesn't.
The sun's rays fall on her, she wakes up, like nothing happened, like she was not just lying there motionless. She lets out a soft laugh and starts pulling me towards another cloud. I loosen up, seeing her all playful and run around the clouds.
It begins to darken. Butterfly starts to cough uncontrollably. She loses her balance and slips down the cloud. I try to hold on to her, but I can't. She is falling and I can't save her. She is going to die. I am helpless. The sky looks dark and empty without her, feeling everything the darkness touches with dread and misery.
"VIVAAAAN, wake up, its just a dream baby. It's not real!" My mom shakes me awake. I continue to cry, shaking uncontrollably. Mom hugs me tight and keeps repeating that it's not real, it was just a dream. But how am I supposed to tell her that, the reality, in fact, is much more crueler.
The next morning, I skip breakfast. I deliberately don't take the lunch mom has packed for school. At school, many teachers tell me that my performance has gone down. My English teacher reprimands me for not writing the essay. One of my teacher, even called me separately and asked what's the matter. I don't tell her anything. She wouldn't understand. Nobody would. They would think me silly. I miss all my music classes that week too.
Finally, my mom catches ahold of me and asks me, "what's going on, baby?" What do I tell her? In the end I keep mum, I don't tell anything and she lets me go without pressing too much.
At school, I get into serious trouble for failing English and not submitting my essays. My English teacher makes a call to my mother. This should normally sadden me, I don't like disappointing my mother. But I don't feel embarrassed nor do I feel sad. I feel numb.
"Vivaan, I am your mother. A mother can understand when her offspring is not keeping well. Speak baby! Tell me what is wrong." Mom begs, as soon as I enter the house, before even I remove my shoes. "Is it me Vivaan? Is it because we don't go on our morning runs anymore? Because I haven't been able to make as much time for you like before? She asks. Before I can reply she hugs me and makes me sit on her lap. "Vivaan, baby, dad is having a rough patch. He is too worried about you, me and our future, baby. I don't know what to do to make it better for your dad. I guess, in the process, I've ignored you completely, baby. Mummy is really sorry!" Mom pleads, hugging me tightly.
That's when I start crying. I tell her everything, from the beginning. I tell her about butterfly. I tell her about dad. I tell her about her. I pour my heart out. Not worrying if she understood. Not worrying if I sounded silly. For the first time in weeks. I cry, I cry for dad, I cry for mom, I cry for butterfly, I cry for me. For hope.
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.- Erich Fromm
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Beneath the Vivid White Coats
RomanceTwo people. Two different lives. Two different love stories. Two different destinies. Iyana, 21 year old, a nerd, medical student, who falls head over heals in love with her senior at her school. Iyana: Nothing was making much sense to me. He was...
