Messages from the Vault - 6

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Elvis – I heard something about you the other day.

Celine – You don't know anyone who knows me. You heard diddly squat.

Elvis – So it's not true that you stripped to your underwear and tried to jump in the Bellagio fountains after King's sister's wedding?

Celine –

Elvis - ???

Celine – FML

Elvis – I'm impressed really. I thought I'd done some fucked up shit but...wow...I particularly like the way you sang 'My Heart Will Go On'

Celine – You'll never prove it.

Elvis – There's video. King came over last night and showed me.

Celine – I'll rip his lungs out.

Elvis – That's a bit permanent. Why not just rip out his nipple rings instead? He's so proud of that shit.

Celine – I'll keep it in mind. Shit. Gena wasn't there was she? No offence to your girlfriend but I don't know her and I don't want Ryan showing strangers footage like that.

Elvis – Gena and I are on a break.

Celine – Fucking hell Poodle. You guys have more breaks than an orthopaedic ward.

Poodle – Tell me about it. How about you? Are you still dating that stick up his ass banker?

Celine – Simon doesn't have a stick up his arse, he just doesn't appreciate the kind of sticky floored dive bars you want to meet us at.

Poodle – So of course he stayed home and you came alone. You had fun though right?

Celine – Of course I did Poodle, I always do with you.

Poodle – Lose the stiff Muffin, he's no good for you.

Muffin – Not ready to do that yet Poodle but you'll be the first to know when I push him off a bridge.

Poodle – Miss you.

Muffin – Miss you more.

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