Zeus – Prepare to be awed by my brilliance.
Beyonce – Is that awe in a good way or in a shock and awe the apocalypse is nigh way?
Zeus – Awe as in hell yeah, my loins are fruitful!
Beyonce – You've bought a farm?
Zeus - ????
Beyonce – You're talking about fruit and loins. When I think of loins I think of lamb...or beef. What else am I supposed to think?
Zeus – I don't even know where you come up with some of these ideas. I'm going to be a dad!
Beyonce – Congratulations. Wow, that's some serious adulting there. Having a baby.
Zeus – Kind of think I moved into the adulting zone when I married my second wife.
Beyonce – Yeah, about that....
Zeus – I'm sorry.
Beyonce – I'm still upset. You could have told me, I can keep a secret.
Zeus – No-one knows that better than me. We didn't tell anyone we were doing it.
Beyonce – I know. Don't mind me, I'm being stupid.
Zeus – You are but it doesn't mean that I can't be sorry anyway. Should I get an I'm sorry tattoo?
Beyonce – Back up Big Daddy. I'm not sure your wife would like that and aren't you supposed to be practising being a responsible parental influence?
Big Daddy – Sometimes it's hard to remember that!
Beyonce – Just one of the many reasons why I'm pretty certain that kids aren't for me. I have an idea that only one party comes out of a lifetime caregiver relationship with cat with emotional scars...and it's not the cat.
Big Daddy – Well Crazy Cat Lady I hope one day to stroke your pussy.
Crazy Cat Lady – Eeewwww. I can't work out if that's just plain creepy or possibly one of the worst attempts at a dad joke I've ever heard.
Big Daddy – It's a tricky thing to get right. I'll need to keep practising.
Crazy Cat Lady – Don't give up your day job. Or maybe just stick to the classics like 'Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.'
Big Daddy – I'm sorry I didn't tell you I got married. I miss you. I'm going to want you to meet my kid you know.
Crazy Cat Lady – I miss you too and I can't wait to meet your kid.
YOU ARE READING
Missing You Again
FanfictionDear God Series - 3 Zacky's life is a disaster zone. He's taking one hit after another and if he can't catch his breath soon he's going to suffocate. Fortunately he's always had one person he can talk to when times get tough. What the hell's a girl...
