Bleeding for Royalty

👑6

-A poem by M.-

MISSING HIM

Day by day,
Miles apart,
I hold him close
In my heart.

My heart likes him here,
But my mind wants him to disappear.
So confused but so in love,
Looking at the stars above,
Remembering what we had,
And what could have been,
When we were in love,
And how we were friends.

He was like family to me,
I trusted him with all my heart,
But in a million pieces
He shattered it apart.

I only asked for one more chance, 
Just to get it right,
But he turned me away,
And bid me good night.

Now these tears are here to stay,
Streaming down my face,
Wondering why he would turn me away,
And now we don't talk anymore.

That's so true,
So why am I still in love with you?

I wrote as I cried and cried.
Tears streamed down my eyes like rain.
I felt so alone.
No one was there for me
I

felt so alone.
Even Amra was not there for me.

I carried my phone and dialed Amra's number.

Hello Amra

Hi Ya Maryam. Why are you crying?

It's him.

I will try and come home today. Please don't hurt yourself.

With that, I hung up.

Confused? Okay, well, I am Amra's elder sister, Maryam.

My boyfriend just hurt me💔.

I have never really cried because of a MALE but i was hurt. I just couldn't believe he could do that.

After 9pm

I slept off after crying because of cramps and also heartbreak.

I got off the bed and headed to the door for I heard someone knocking.

I opened it and saw a letter on the door step. It clearly read TO MARYAM.

I opened it and read out loud.

Dear Maryam,

Love is like the tide, it comes and it goes. Unfortunately the tide is out in my love for you and I don't think it will come back in. I know it's hard to hear, but the least I can give you now is honesty. I hope you can move on like the rolling ocean waves, with strength and purpose.

All the Best,

Ibrahim.

I squeezed the paper and threw it. I went to my brother, Ameer's room and carried his cutter.

I made my way to my room after locking the house.

I sat on my bed and started making lines on my left wrist. I went on and on till i felt it penetrating deep and all i could see was blood gushing out and i kept cutting till the cutter got out of the other side of my wrist.

Blood.
Blood.
Blood.

Red was what i saw. All i saw. All i thought. I started losing consciousness but before i went unconscious i heard Amra screaming my name.

Next Morning.

I woke up on a hospital bed. I sat up and saw a note by the side. I slowly opened it and read it. It was typed with the Italics font.

THE GIRL IN THE CORNER

There is a girl who sits in the corner.
Her heart is crying out.
There are people all around her,
But no one seems to hear her shout.

Her life was once happy,
Full of love and care.
She was always laughing.
There was always someone there,

But now her life seems empty.
What's missing, she doesn't know.
She wears a mask every day.
Her true feelings she doesn't show.

Her once colorful and cheerful life
Has turned so dull and grey.
She once enjoyed her group of friends;
Now she just wishes them away.

For when she is by herself,
She can break free from her shell.
She can let the unhappiness break free
And unleash the devil from hell.

Because at the end of the day,
When everyone's in their beds asleep,
The misery surrounds her,
And the pain, it cuts so deep.

She wants somebody to listen,
Someone to understand.
But when she opens up,
Nobody wants to lend a hand.

So she waits until the sun finally sets
To open up once more.
This time it's no longer in words,
But it results in terrible sores.

These sores cry their tears at night.
The tears aren't transparent but a deathly red.
As they cry, she feels a release
From the terrible pain in her head.

Some people would say she is crazy.
Some people would say she is mad,
But she can't resist the temptation when it arrives,
Even though she knows it's bad.

No one will ever understand this urge.
It's something she can't explain.
She feels shame for the scars on her body
But always ends up doing it again.

You see, this girl is a victim
Of something she can't comprehend.
Deep in her heart she knows she must stop,
For her life she doesn't want to end.

But for now it's the only way she knows
To stop feeling the loss of love and care,
Because at the moment she's invisible.
No one notices she's there.

After reading, I smiled to myself. A sad smile.
One of depression.