Blackmail (joshler)

9

All day Josh has been avoiding me. I hate it. What if hes telling people? I've been an anxious wreck since our encounter in the hall. I was shaking, unshed tears still in my eyes as i walked down the hall at the end of the day. I was scared Josh was gonna tell someone or that he already has, I was scared my parents would be upset with me for getting a bad grade on a test and for slacking, scared that the stress would effect my playing in tonight's basketball game and I was terrified someone was gonna approach me and see me like this.

Josh ran up behind me, calling my name. i stopped walking and he walked in front of me, grinning. It faded when he seen the state I was in. "What's wrong?" He asked.  "Its personal shit... you dont care." I croaked.

He pursed his lips. "... I'm sorry." He whispered. "Did you tell anyone?" I asked. He frowned. "You're like this cause you think I told someone?" He asked. "Well I didnt-and you said-so i-..you said you would." I fumbled to get out.

"No.. I-.. the hallway wasnt really the best place to ask that so... that's not your fault... im sorry for asking there." He said. "So you didnt tell anyone?" I asked. "I didnt." He confirmed. I let out a breath. He sighed. "Come on I'll drive you home." He said. I nodded and followed him to his car.

It was quiet for the first minute or two as we drive before he reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently. "Is something else bothering you?" He asked. I was still shaking. "Personal shit." I whispered. He sighed.

"Let's say I care.. just for this one time." He said. "But you dont care." I said. He glanced at me. "I do when its effecting you this much." He said. "Whatever was going on last night was effecting you a lot but you didnt tell me what was wrong." I said.

"Put it this way. Im allowed to care about you but you cant care about me." He said. "That's not fair." I said. "Well that's how it is now what's up?" He asked. I sighed but let him know my other worries for today.

"You'll be fine. Your parents should care more about you actually putting an effort in than the grades you receive and about your game later? Dont even think about it. You're Tyler Joseph. You're like, the best basketball player our there." He said.

I smiled a bit. "You think?" I asked. "Well you're my favorite anyway. So you must be good if you're my favorite." He said. My smile widened and I blushed, looking down at our hands. He was still holding mine.

When we got to my house he let go. "I'll see you later alright? Ill be cheering you on" he said. "Okay." I whispered but didnt move. He just stared at me. "You gonna get out?" He asked. "Do you wanna come in?" I asked. He grinned and shut his car off, opening the door.

I got out as well and we headed inside my house. This was his first time being in my house so he looked around as we walked to the kitchen. I was a little hungry so I was looking for a snack.

I ended up just eating some crackers cause i couldnt find anything else. It was only me and Josh home, my parents were working and my siblings most likely with their friends.

"Why cant I know what was going on last night?" I asked. He sighed, leaning back agaisnt the counter. "I dont like getting people involved in shit that they're not apart of." He said. I hummed.

"Yknow I really enjoyed last night.. well apart from you ripping me out of the car and stuff... but after that.. I dont know you were real sweet." I said.  He let out a nervous sounding chuckle and I swear I seen him blush.

"Okay" he whispered. "Okay?" I asked. He shrugged. "I dont know how to react to that." He said. I bit my lip in thought. "I still have your sweater if you want it back." I said. He shook his head. "Keep it." He said. I grinned and walked over to him.

"Wow josh letting me keep your sweater... thats boyfriend material right there." I said. "Okay" he laughed nervously, I could tell that he was blushing this time because I was closer. "You dont have anything else to say other than okay?" I asked.

"I-i don't know how to react to that either." He said. "Have you ever had an actual boyfriend or do you just sleep around?" I asked. "Is it bad for me to say I only sleep around?" He asked. I shrugged. "Maybe."

"Youd be a good boyfriend though. That sweet side of you is amazing and i personally love it... the mean side of you scares me though." I said truthfully. "Sorry." He whispered. I shrugged. "Its okay."

"Not really." He said, setting a hand in my hip as I practically leaned against him. "Why not?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck. He shrugged. "I dont know.... dont like that you're scared of me." He said. I tilted my head a bit. "And whys that?" I asked.

He looked away, blushing again. "I dont know." He said, both his hands now on my hips. "The thing I'm noticing with you is that you want to be feared. You want people to be scared of you but when they get scared of you, you feel bad... you've been doing it with me since we met. I'd end up getting scared and then youd kinda get this look of realization and youd soften and be all nice and caring.. but you'll still have that dominant persona." I said.

"Yeah I guess... I like being In charge of things... it's easy with you cause you'll do anything I want." He said. "Really anything you want?" I asked. "To a certain extent... i meant like.. you're naturally submissive so it's just easy being around you for me." He said.

I nodded. "Its not a bad thing... I don't know it kinda makes me feel safe." He said. I hummed. "So you like being a soft cuddly bear but you also like letting the person you're with know you're the boss." I said. "Yeah." He mumbled, not looking at me.

I smiled. "I like that." I said. Josh grinned slightly.  "Cool" he said. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, it felt safe like this. I dont know why, just after finally getting somewhat through to Josh's sensitive side and now just being in his hold, it just feels safe.