Misguided

10. Shy, innocent and-

I have been floating around in my thoughts all day while managing to do some house work. I'm so flustered with everything that has happened with Thor or Loki.
But then it hit me, that I had to choose one of them. I'm currently playing them both. Loki doesn't know that I have been with Thor and Thor doesn't know I have been with Loki.
It shouldn't be hard to choose, but it is. What if I choose one of them and realize I would have liked the other one. Am I really in love with either one of them or is it just a crush? Love is something that should come naturally and should be obvious, but why isn't it? Maybe I don't know them good enough to make a decision.
I keep comparing them to each other, but it shouldn't be like that. I feel so lost and I can't tell anyone about any of this. I don't have close friends and if I tried to tell someone they would think I'm lying. I could tell my mother, but I don't want to worry her.

A couple days pass without hearing back from either one of them. Almost let myself believe that they had forgot about me. Until I found a small letter on top of my bed. I have no idea where it came from or who sent it. Or if it was sent at all, because the letter didn't have a stamp. The envelope is light green and inside is a drawn out map. All I can assume is that it's from Loki or Thor and they want to meet, but when? There's no time or a name or any writing at all. This doesn't feel like something Thor would do, he is straight forward type. So it's Loki? Who else could it be?
Maybe I will find out tonight. I have been waiting for a sign from either one of them, so this is it.

Evening comes and I dress my best before heading outside. At first it was hard to follow the map, because of the dark, but eventually my eyes got used to it.
The trail lead me to a forest and just when I thought I was lost, I noticed it.
It's Loki's horse! It just looks at me without moving an inch. I look at the map just to make sure I was in the right place. The paper starts to slowly turn into glimmering green dust and flies around the horse. This is definitely Loki's magic.
I don't know the way back and my map just flew away so I guess my only choice is to get on the horse. I jump on the horse and it immediately started to gallop. Hopefully leading me to Loki.
The horse took me to the cabin, where I was with Loki a couple days ago. Oddly enough there wasn't shining any light from the windows, just a lamp outside the cabin.
It looks like no one is here but I decided to go in anyway. There's no other place I could go.

I open the door and inside the cabin was almost completely dark, just one candle on the table. "Loki?" I say not sure what was waiting for me. I close the door behind me and try to listen if anyone was here with me. I say his name again without an answer.

Suddenly I am pressed against the door with force and a passionate kiss. I don't fight it at all and kiss back immediately.
The lips are soft and his hands grab my thighs under my dress as he presses against me. His tongue slips in my mouth and he deepens the kiss. Something was different in him. I place my hands on his lover back. He felt a little bit shorter and shapelier? His sharp nails grab my thigh and I let out a loud moan. "I see why he likes you."
I freeze as she whispers in my ear. That was a woman's voice. She licks my ear and bites on it. I couldn't move.. Loki said I was the only person he had brought up here. He has another woman?

I push the woman away from my ear. "Hey, what's wrong darling?" she asks. I couldn't really see her, but I felt she was close. "What the...?" Was all I could say.
"Of course he hasn't told you about me. I should introduce myself before we go any further." Suddenly all the candles in the room flame up at the same time. In front of me is a woman who looked like, what I imagined Loki's twin to look like if he had one. Black long hair, pale skin, green eyes, high cheekbones, slim but curvy, big breasts.... That I probably stared too long at. The tight black corset she was wearing made her breasts look so juicy. Impossible to look away from. And her long leg showing from the slit in her dark green skirt. Oh god, what am I thinking!
I quickly look her in the eyes. She looks at me with this devilish smirk that made her look dangerous, psychotic and maybe a little bit scary.
"I usually go by Loki, but I don't think I want to have the same name as him. Maybe I should call myself Ikol. I'm the opposite of him after all, and you! You must be Caitlin! He can't stop thinking about you and I don't blame him. So shy, so innocent and so sexy."
I just look at her mouth little bit open. I'm lost for words.
"Come on, you're not that shy with him! What's the difference in me?!" She seems to have a small temper. "I'm sorry... you're Loki shape shifted as a woman?"
"Well, yes and no. We have the same body unfortunately and he doesn't like to share. He doesn't really like me, thinks I just create chaos so he keeps me in the darkness of his thoughts. That man doesn't open up to anyone so you got me curious. Won the control, because I had to see you with my own eyes. And I have to say I'm not disappointed in his taste in women. Under those boring clothes is a perfectly carved body."

My thoughts drive me crazy. I have never felt this much attraction to a woman. I didn't even know I could like them the same way as men. I can't believe I kissed her! "Can you bring Loki back?" I ask.
I can see the anger flame in her eyes. She looks fierce, almost crazy. "You want him?! I went all this trouble and I'm not good enough for you!? I get out maybe once every five years and I spend the one day I have to you! You ungrateful bitch!"
She grabs my throat and lifts me up to my tippy toes. I gasp for air as she strangles me. "I'm not going to waste this day!"
She loosens up the hold a little and presses against me closely. She whispers in my ear "You like this, don't you? Not even fighting back. You love being dominated!" I shake my head lightly.
"You're such a bad lier" She spreads my legs with his other hand and grabs between my legs. I let out a moan that I try to hide. "You're as wet as the ocean. Don't hide it, I'm going to find all you kinks. Something he's not capable of!"