Misguided

14. Sweet nothings

I never thought I would be brave enough to be the one to kiss first, but this had a different reason behind it. I needed to get out of the hallway before Thor shows up because I know that would lead to an awkward conversation.
"Is that your room?" I point to the door next to us. Loki nods and before he knows it I already continue the kiss and push him inside the room. I close the door behind me and bang Loki against a wall.
He stops for a moment, "Where is this passion coming from?"
I laugh and answer "I guess, I just missed you."
A smile spreads on his face and we stare into each other's eyes. He flips me against the wall and presses me against it with his body. He kisses me roughly.
Something feels different this time. I feel love, real love. Nothing I do with Thor could ever feel this good. All I did with Thor was physical, nothing deeper. How couldn't I see it before. It has always been Loki who I love. He's the one I choose.
Loki continues to my neck and I gasp. Now I'm able to see his bed behind his shoulder and start pushing him towards it. He falls on the bed and I start taking away his pants while he trows away his shirt. I get on top of him and he undresses me.
I slowly ease down on his hard member, enjoying myself. Loki moves his hands on my thighs to my backside.
I start with a slow rotating movement while I kiss his neck. After a few moments I stretch my spine up and start moving quicker. I loved the feeling of control in this position, and I loved to see how Loki enjoyed it. I know he will soon take over but I didn't mind. I close my eyes and focus on the pleasure.
His hands grasp my breasts and I moan. Then I feel lips touch my neck. How? I open my eyes and see Loki under me with his hands still on my thighs. His face is bland. I turn my head to the person kissing me and see THOR?!
What? How? They knew about each other this whole time?! Before I could question it more, Thor thrusts in my behind and I yell out of pain and pleasure. They find the same pace and continue banging me from both holes. I clasp my nails on Loki's shoulders, probably squeezing hard enough to cut his skin.
I try to control my pants and moans but it's all too much. I have never felt pleasure like this. My muscles want to give up and I fall down. For a little moment I lay on Loki's chest and hear his quick heartbeat, but Thor lifts my upper body straight again.
As they start thrusting me with full force I can't even breathe. I feel like I'm about to explode. Finally I come with a huge moan and wave of gusto that makes everything go dark.

I snap awake by a loud voice from somewhere. For a moment I had to think if it all was a dream or did I just blackout. But it was all true, because I'm in Loki's bed, naked. Then where are they? The voices keep talking. I can barely make out what the people in the another room are arguing about.
"Well I realized that after you banged her against the only wall we share!"
That really sounded like Loki. Is he talking to Thor? I grab the blanket and wrap it around me and go toward the voices.
"I bet you couldn't make her moan like that."
Well that was definitely Thor's voice. They are obviously talking about me.
"God, you're so childish! Do you even know how young she is?! You have gotten sloppy at the picking!"
"I don't know about that, she handled it pretty well. Better than most ."
"Thor, do you even know that she was a virgin?"
I was about to walk in the room to stop their conversation but this got me interested. What picking and who are "most'? And how could Loki know? There's a moment of silence and then Thor continues.
"I don't believe you."
"Why do you think she escaped the first morning?"
"I don't really care. She's good. You know I nearly failed to get in her pants the second time because the hero trick didn't go as planned."
"Don't tell me you actually had the guard involved!"
"He couldn't even do one job right. She got away before I even got to be the hero."

I feel like I'm stabbed in the chest. Thor hired the guard to "rape" me, so he could save me and I would sleep with him. I feel absolutely disgusted.
"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER! Thor you're sick! This isn't right, I'm going to tell allfather about everything."
"And who do you think he will rather believe, his firstborn, next to be king or the sad failure of a son. Now, go wipe her memory before she wakes up."
Loki doesn't say anything but Thor does "That's what I thought."

I want to cry but the anger, disappointment and the feeling of betrayal block all emotions. I'm left out feeling nothing. I go get dressed.
I think for a moment to just leave before they get back but I'm stopped by the terrifying reflection of myself in the mirror. I couldn't recognize myself. I didn't see that innocent, pure, carefree girl anymore. It looked like I would have gotten a hundred years older.
I look at my messy hair and start to comb it like nothing would have happened. I hear Loki step in the room and he gives me a smile through the mirror. He comes behind me and tries to set her hands on my shoulders, but I turn around quickly and grab his wrists before he could touch me. His face changes sturdy.
"How many other's have there been?"
My voice is calm but it doesn't sound like my voice, it sounds more harsh.
"I'm afraid I don't understand."
"You can't lie to me Loki. How many other girls' lives have you destroyed."
"What? I don't-"
"TELL ME!"
He sighs, finally understanding that I heard everything.
"A little over a hundred"
I look at him disgusted. He looks down in shame, but I couldn't care less. He and his brother have ruined many young girls' lives.
"So what, you two just trick girls into having sex with both of you and just use them as toys?! Then when there's nothing left to try, you just wipe her memory, throw her away and move on to the next."
He stays silent which means I'm right. I continue
"And never in your righteous mind did you think how wrong that was!?"
"Of course I know it's wrong! It's just Thor who wont let me stop."
"That doesn't justify over a hundred girls."
"But Caitlin, you're different! I love you."
"No you don't, you're just saying that to get close enough to mess up my head."
"I'm so sorry."
"You don't get to be sorry after all the girls you have used as objects, all the innocence you have taken from them! It all makes sense now, I really thought you were both interested in me but I should know better, that's too good to be true. And you know the saddest part is that I really thought I loved you..."
My voice started to get shaky but it was still deeper than usual. A moment of silence. He tries to take my hand but I slap him.
"No! You will not touch me and wipe my memory. I want to remember so I will never trust your kind!"
"My kind?"
He asks demanding, a little bit hurt. I look at him straight it the eyes and answer.
"A monster."
My voice is now sturdy and I can see the words cut him like a knife. He takes a couple steps back not even able to look me in the eyes anymore. I walk past him not looking back.