In Sickness and Health

12

I'm shivering all over. I don't know why, but my body is so tired and my stomach hurts and my mind is scattered from last night. 

Stephan is sound asleep beside me, naked under the covers. 

I decide maybe taking a shower would do me some good so I head to the bathroom. Subconsciously, my nails dig into the mating mark on the side of my neck, the scar feeling odd against my once smooth skin. My mind is racing as I wash my body. 

You're going to die soon. You shouldn't have let him get attached. What's wrong with you? You're going to hurt him. 

He can easily get over me. He doesn't really love me. He can find someone else. They always do. 

Tears are running down my face as I towel myself dry. I need to go for a run. 

After finishing getting dressed, I check to make sure Stephan is still sleeping then quietly sneak downstairs. His mom and dad are asleep on the huge couches so I have to tip-toe to the front door.  

Once outside, I head into the thick woods and strip before changing into my white wolf. 

I learned long ago to welcome the pain. The more you're anxious, the more pain you'll be in. I trained my body to even enjoy it. It clears my mind so all I focus on is the sharp, burning sensations as I shift.

My back arches as the bones crack and shift, stretching my lithe body. The worst part is when the bones in my face break and reposition themselves, bringing forward my muzzle. My eyes water each time. Claws slide into the dirt from my new paws as fur begins to sprout along the length of my spine. I can't move until it's over, not that I would want to. Moving can cause permanent damage to joints and muscles. I can feel my mouth fill with my canines, lips peeled back until they shift. My gums burn and my tongue itches. 

The world seems to shift around me when I shift. Everything seems zoomed in. My sensitive ears pick up the hissing and buzzing of insects and the calls and cries of animals. Scents hit my nostrils and it's hard to decipher them at first because they're all coming in at once. I tread forward lightly, my joints aching from being popped out of their sockets. I take time to stretch my legs so my muscles don't burn when I walk. It always takes time for me to get used to my new body for a few seconds.  

As always, I'm starving after my shift. Shifting takes a lot of energy and in the state I'm in, it can be dangerous with the cancer weakening my system. 

I  can't smell water but I can smell the minerals in it. I know there's in a nearby creek, and the moss and damp dirt are giving off a musky smell. Silently I head towards the water while sneaking through the underbrush. When we want to, wolves can be absolutely silent and practically disappear. 

It's normally unsafe for a wolf to be out by itself but I was used to it. Having been kicked out of my home, I often wandered the woods by myself, steering clear when I caught whiff of a human. 

I examined my surroundings and craned my neck forward to lap at the cool, crisp water. After the quick drink, I shook out my pelt and stretched once more. The fur along my back was itchy and I rubbed it against a nearby tree, hating how hard it was for me to scratch an itch. 

The wind shifted the leaves above me and I froze. Something was off. Sometimes dogs can have that gamey scent like wolves do but it's normally not that strong. Realization struck me too late. 

A bark echoed through the woods and before I could react, I was pinned to the ground by a strong brown wolf. I could tell by their scent it was a female. There was something else there. Something... familiar. My eyes widened. Chloe...?