October 24th - Feedback

2.5K 8 1
                                    

I read the 8 first chapters.

According to the summary, I thought your book was about a romantic story between two friends, with Lauren being afraid to trust a man again, and that's exactly what you gave me. In truth, your summary is well written because it talks about your characters, about the conflict of the story and there is also a hook.

Your plot is classic (that's not a reproach) but it still pulled me in. I think that's because the characters seemed realistic. I can't really relate to their predicaments but the way they react is totally believable. I know that if I was in their position, maybe I would do the same than them (or maybe not, Idk). I also really love the way Amy and Lauren interact together. It's a real plus to the story. The only thing that was a little too much imo was all the times Henry's moves went right in Lauren lower belly. It's true she is really attracted to him but sometimes, I think it would be a little better to get one or two of those moves right in Lauren's heart instead. Well, not in the beginning since she doesn't know or doesn't want to be in love but later I found it was a little repetitive to see her so attracted. It was just a fleeting feeling but I thought you would like to know. It's just a little detail though.

The chapters were well paced; there wasn't a time when I was bored. I liked Lauren's internal monologues when she was speaking to herself because that felt like what anybody would do. I found there weren't a lot of descriptions but that didn't bother me. In fact, adding more would kill the pacing and they would be a little useless imo because nobody takes the time to describe in their head ( or in a story, they tell to someone) the things they see every day. Moreover, it isn't hard to imagine where she lives and where she works. As for the grammar, I didn't spot anything that hurt my eyes but English is also my second language so I'm definitely not an expert!

That was all the things I liked and disliked. I was really interested and I think I will read the rest of the book because I want to know what happens next. If you want, I can get back to you when I finish reading the rest, although I don't know when that will be.

Drown

~*~*~

I have read 5 chapters from the weekly chosen book.

It caught my attention from the start where the scene has set my mind questioning what really was going on. Made me felt like I wanna read more and more. Almost forgotten what chapter I was on after few had passed. Great plot line where the characters growth and the story doesn't just revolve around the main character. A touch of comedy example in chapter 5 where she hits her head as the door swings open got me laughing. The only thing I notice that could be improved is the writer's grammar, which was the differentiation on past tense and present tense. Overall I love it and almost the romance was build for real life, the emotions and detailing was the best.

Slain

~*~*~

Okay, so after reading the first few chapters, I have to say, I like your characters quite a bit. They seem believable and likable. As I mentioned in a comment I made, I especially like how everyone knows about Lauren's crush before she does since it reminds me so much of my own experience with having a crush. Also, some of your dialog cracked me up, which is definitely a good thing. If there's one thing I could offer in terms of constructive criticism it's that the pacing of it seemed a little fast. Chapter 1 and they're already discussing her crush. I think I would have preferred to see a bit more of the MC before that was talked about, but with that being said, I recognize that it is the second book and perhaps more of their relationship was established in book 1. Overall I thought it was enjoyable to read.

Erotic Book Club {E.B.C} 2018Where stories live. Discover now