Pretending to be Pregnant

Nine

I grasped the toilet seat as I sat on the cold, tiled, bathroom floor before throwing up once more. It had been four weeks since I'd told everyone I was pregnant and here I was spewing up my guts for around the fifth time today.

"Still not feeling good?" My mum asked wandering into my own private bathroom. I shook my head and grasped the ice cold glass of water, she held in her hand, gratefully. I happily pulled it to my dry, foul tasting lips and sighed as the water washed my mouth out and fed the thirst that was overcoming me. "I'll call school, let them know you're not coming in. You can get Ryan to bring around the work you've missed afterwards." My mum announced. I nodded and placed the glass of water on the cold floor, my stomach heaving once more. "I've got to go out today, you still sure that you don't want me to cancel?" She asked. I nodded and flushed the toilet before climbing up, onto my feet.

"I'll be fine. Just need to go to bed." I told her. She nodded and helped me towards my room, her hand resting on my back.

"I'll see you later." She told me, dashing from the room as soon as I was lying in the bed. I rolled onto my side and pulled my knees to my chest, before settling down and falling into a welcome sleep.

"Ahhhhh!" I screamed, the pain overcoming me. It was overwhelming and I was clutching Ryan's hand. He looked like he was about to pass out. His usually perfect hair was ruffled and out of place, whilst his always rosy cheeks were a pale white. His lips looked bloodless as they reflected a blue tinge. Along the side of his head ran beads of sweat. I squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him, but he just looked away instead.

"Just one more push Esme, come on, just one more push." I looked up, noticing the protruding bump coming out of my stomach. It was large and heavy. I placed my head back on the pillow and pushed once more. I felt a release, as if I'd lost something and all of a sudden everybody around me was silent.

"My baby, my baby, I want to see my baby!" I screamed, panicking all of a sudden at the lack of noise. Everybody glanced at each other, slightly concerned. "My baby. Where is my baby?" I was hysterical now and I realise that I hadn't heard the familiar cry and scream of a newborn. Then a thought struck and I withered on the hospital bed. "Is my baby dead?" I screamed. Hot tears were now running down my sweaty face. I turned to Ryan, my head dramatically swivelling in the direction where he stood. Ryan abruptly turned away from me after scowling at my reactions. This just caused me to panic further. What was going on? Then, somebody told me silently, the words I dreaded to hear.

"Esme.... There is no baby." Everybody was slowly backing away from me no as I screamed and screamed and screamed. Ryan was looking at me disgusted, he was eyeing my flat stomach, his eyes narrowed in an evil expression.

"How could you do this to me?" He uttered. The words barely left his lips, but still, the pierced me as sharp as knife. Stabbing me once, stabbing me twice, even a third time. Then I looked around my body to see that I was in a river of blood and I was gradually being carried downstream. I turned back towards the people that had surrounded my bedside, during the birth, and gave a plee. Crying for help. But, instead of reaching out to my outstretched arms, they just all shook their heads and turned away. My own mother. My own father. Ryan. They were all upset and blinded by my deceit. So I continued, floating on the river of blood before I sucked under and welcomed to hell...

I was soon awake, beads of sweat running down the side of my face. Screaming for remorse. Screaming for help. Screaming for forgiveness. I soon stopped, realising that I was safe and awake in my own bed with the sheets twisted around my body, trapping me and preventing me from escaping.

"It was just a dream. Just a dream." I murmured to myself, running my shaking hand through the hair which stuck, damply, to my forehead. I rubbed my eyes and stood up, feeling slightly better than before. My stomach was no longer churning and I was no longer feeling like I was about to heave at any moment.