Pretending to be Pregnant

Twelve

The first thing I did when I woke up was check my ring finger.

Had I dreamed it all?

No, the ring was there, glimmering in the winter sunlight which was peering through my bedroom curtain.

I can't say I was surprised.

It had been three days since the proposal and I hadn't stopped staring at the ring since. It was dazzlingly beautiful and I couldn't get over the sheer, simply beautiful, design. Then, as I turned to my side to reach for the television remote, I realised what was happening today. My birthday.

Now usually I would be up and bouncing about. But today, I just didn't feel like getting up.

Today, we were going to tell my parents.

Today, the non-existent baby would become a real thing in my household.

I placed my head in my hands and groaned. Why did it feel like today would be the worst day of my life? I wandered over to my bedroom bathroom, stubbing my toe on the parcel on the floor. Yesterday, I'd got home from school, only to be greeted by a very grumpy delivery man, who had been stood there for around five minutes, ringing the doorbell. Nobody, of course, had answered. I'd quickly signed for the parcel and hidden it in my room, not wanting to look inside. The truth was, I knew what was hidden in that sealed box. My fake baby bumps.

"Esme!" My mum called in a sing song voice. I rolled my eyes and quickly responded.

"What?" I cried back in an equally sing, songy voice.

"Daddy's home!" Before I knew it I had rushed down the stairs and was in my father's arms. I hadn't seen dad in ages and I was glad of his company. As I pulled away, my father grabbed my hand.

"So, he asked you?" Dad asked, whistling at the huge stone which lay on my finger. I nodded, smiling, knowing full well that dad already knew that I had agreed to marry Ryan. "I'm happy for you." Dad said, hugging me once more. However, as he sat there, I couldn't help but notice a glimmer of doubt cross his eyes.

"You've received another message!" Mum said, throwing me my mobile phone. I caught it and opened the message from the unknown number.

'Happy Birthday, Esme. I'd give you my present, but you haven't called to arrange dinner.x'

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Who was sending me this, almost creepy, cryptic message? I quickly typed back, 'Who is this?' and waited for a response. On the table top, in front of me, lay a tower of presents.

"I thought that maybe you could open them now? Before Ryan gets here." My mum said, following my gaze. There was a variety of presents; big and small. Some were soft whereas others formed stiff, cube shapes. I looked at my mother, noticing a lone tear drip from her stunning eye, she quickly turned away.

"Mum, what's wrong?" I frowned, worried that I'd done something to upset her.

"It's nothing. Well, it's silly really. It's just, this is going to be the last birthday of yours before you get married!" I had previously told my mother that Ryan and I planned to get married as soon as possible. Although her apprehension had not gone unnoticed, she'd made it clear that she would support me no matter what. I smiled at my mum before wrapping her in a big hug.

"It's okay mum." I told her before saying our family motto in Spanish. She smiled and, holding my hand, led me over to the pile of presents.

"Now open!" She commanded. I giggled and let the first present fall into my hands. My parents sat down next to me, grinning, while I made my way through the pile.

----

I sat at my dressing table, my hair loose around my face and my new dress pulled on, but still unzipped at the back. My make up was done and I was now just staring at myself in the mirror. On the edge of the table, lay my phone, which had buzzed earlier, almost toppling precariously over the elaborately decorated glass edge. I picked it up, worried that it was another cheerful 'happy birthday' message.

'It's Luke.x' 

Luke? Who was Luke? All of a sudden I remembered the guy in the supermarket. I rolled my eyes and placed my phone back on the marble top of the dressing table, not bothering to text back. However, I felt pleased that he'd remembered me and had made an effort. I smiled to myself and looked down, failing to meet the eyes of the person in the mirror. I felt guilty, that somebody, other than Ryan, could make me smile. 

 My parents had graced me with a number of gifts earlier this morning and for some reason, I was feeling guilty about it. With promises of extravagant wedding dresses and beautiful wedding venues, I felt drowned in guilt and sorrow.

"Hey," A voice called out. I turned towards my door to see my mother standing there. "You look beautiful." I was wearing the new dress my parents had given me and my hair hung in graceful, angelic, curls around my face. I watched my mum walk towards me in the mirror, her face softened with old age. She smiled down at me, scooped my hair to one side and zipped the dress up with a swift movement.

"Thanks." I shook my head, allowing my hair to settle naturally. My mum looked down at me.

"Esme, I just wanted to ask you something." She eyed the ring on my finger suspiciously. "Are you happy?" I gasped. The question was so unexpected and almost made me reel in shock. I stared at her for a moment, thinking about the question. On my finger, lay a heavy, expensive, ring and just a few streets away a guy that loved me was making his way towards my house. Yet, the lie was beginning to ebb away at my sanity. I was beginning to lose myself as a person and I could almost feel my mind grasping reality as it slipped through its fingers. I sighed and plastered a fake smile on my face.

"I couldn't be happier." I told my mum, grinning. She looked at me for a moment, sadly.

"Well, remember, I'm always here for you." She told me, before making her was towards the door. "Oh and Esme? I'm really sorry, but your father invited some guests to your party. Some... colleagues." I nodded. I didn't really want strangers eating my cake and dancing around in their corporate suits, but what could I do?

For a moment, my mother just stood at the door of the dressing room, reviewing myself and my lavish appearance.

"Esme!" A shriek ran up the stairs and towards my bedroom, making both of us jump in surprise. "Ryan's here!" My dad shouted, before thundering up the stairs in order to make sure I'd heard him shout. I quickly stood up, shook my shiny hair and ran out the room, the heels I was wearing tapped along the floor as I made my way to the extravagant marble staircase.

Before I knew it, I was downstairs and gasping in astonishment at the sight that met my eyes. Whilst I had been upstairs, the house had been completely transformed. Outside, in the garden, was a massive marquee laid out with twinkling fairy lights, a bar and buffet. My father and Ryan were standing on the patio, taking in our field like garden from the massive glass doors.

"It's beautiful." I told them, before pulling them into a massive group hug. "Thank you!" I gently pulled away from everybody. My parents soon turned away as they showed the caterers, who had recently arrived, where to place the food. Ryan turned towards and kissed my cheek. He then placed in my hand a beautiful white rose.

"Happy birthday. I love you." He whispered in my ear, so that my parents wouldn't hear. I looked into his adoring eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, tears pricking my eyes.

"Thank you. I love you too." I told him. But for the first time, in a long time, doubt ran through my mind. Did I really love him? Of course I did, why wouldn't I? However, still, I wondered if I actually did love Ryan or maybe, they were just words?

"Es-" My mum's voice trailed off as she reviewed the embrace we were locked in. Embarrassed, she looked away as we pulled apart. "Esme, your guests are beginning to arrive. Do you and Ryan want to go out into the marquee and get a glass of champagne?" I nodded and led Ryan to the marquee, our hands wrapped and entwined with each other.