Advice Column

254 21 0
                                    

Hello, beloved readers! It's-a me! Hasami! Your backup advice columnist! This month, I've got a couple of questions from some lovely readers of mine.

Let's start off with Tsubasa Kuro, who wanted to know which guy in the Uncrowned Kings wore a green jersey.

Well Tsubasa Kuro, that would be Hanamiya Makoto! The guy, who tried to injure our beloved Kuroko Tetsuya and was the main reason of injuries of the lovable airhead Kiyoshi Teppei!

Now, I've gotten a couple of questions from HeartInTheKeys about some pressing problems regarding school. Since school is about to start I would like to suggest asking our readers to pay close attention! Especially to some of our incoming freshmen.

Question: What kind of people are best to be with?

Of course, the best people to be with is someone like me! A lazy, hyperactive, sometimes smart, sometimes dumb, assertive student! Well, jokes aside. I guess, you should try finding a real friend! We see characteristics of real friends or best friends in social media sites a lot and I think that a real friend is someone who appreciates the weirdness named you and goes along with it. Real friends are those people who never leave you in a particularly hard time you're going through and help you rise above the challenges you're facing in life! Maybe someone like Kise? I would really like to be friends with Kise. After all, I can totally imagine Kise being there for me when I'm emo and moody or just sad. He'd be like...

"Hasamichhi!  Let's go out and sing karaoke-ssu!"

"I'll treat you to your favorite food-ssu!"

"I'll help you beat those guys up and get revenge for you or something-ssu!"

And then when I'm all tsundere and stuff, he'd probably be okay with it because he gets the same treatment from Kasamatsu.

Question: How to avoid bullies?

Answer : 1) Confidence, confidence, confidence! Bullies are more prone to target people who think badly of themselves. After all, it's easier to make fun of someone if they've already lost. Don't think badly of yourself! I mean, seriously? You are amazing, beautiful, witty and smart. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise! If you are reading this right now, you've survived so many things! You've gotten this far!  Don't let others think badly of you. But not confidence like Aomine Daiki's. That's just being a dick.

2) Tell those mofos off! Stand up, let your voice be heard but never ever throw the first punch. That's when you gotta tell the feds (adults, mom, dad, teacher) and its not lame to tell older people you're being bullied. In fact, that's one of the bravest things you've ever done. Admitting you need help.

3) No to solo! DO NOT BE A LONE WOLF! You are an easier target alone than with people, who love and appreciate you. Make sure to always to have that one sassy person with all the mean comebacks so the bullies can say, "oh no she didn't."

And you go in all Tyra Banks like and say, "oh yes she did, you little hoe!" Think Seirin, bro!

4) Stand tall, stand proud. Not with your head up in the clouds. Walk like you are being guarded by the first 5 Rakuzan players. No slouching. Head held high, back straight. You are confident and those bullies are beneath you.

5) GET GOOD GRADES. So when you're older, you can have the satisfaction of sipping on iced tea and watching your old bullies running around cleaning your house, trimming your lawn and being your little bitches for the rest of their lives.

So basically, I'm telling you to be Akashi.

God, I'm evil.

Sassy comebacks for bullies (if you wanna use it go ahead)

•Here, have a dollar. Go buy someone you can talk to, who will actually listen to you.

•Hey, do your parents even love you? I mean, they probably don't if they have a kid like you. (omfg, do not use this)

On second thought, forget about that one...I'm too evil...or maybe unless they push you to your limits and stuff or maybe not. Your call, dude.

Kuroko no Basuke Magazine: Issue #2Where stories live. Discover now