It's taking all your strenght (Zarry /AU.) /English Version

62. Remorse II

Zayn

The cake is delicious and Gigi is really excited. She immediately takes a picture of us and the cake.

Harry

My day starts wonderfully with freshly brewed tea. While sitting at the table and enjoying my cereal, I read the latest Instagram entries. With my mouth full, I click on Zayn's account and the flakes almost get stuck in my throat. I can feel the jealousy oozing from my pores as I click on the photo.

"Baking with my Sweetheart"

is the title. Gigi and Zayn are pictured with a giant chocolate cake. They kiss.

I know, he has a life with her. Just like I have one with Camille. We're not posting anything about it. Our life remains secret. I also believe that the relationship between Zayn and Gigi is different. They really like each other and get along very well. That's the fine distinction. 

Camille fascinated me at the beginning. That was, when I felt lonely and unloved. The press loves us and that's why the relationship is still lasts. You need someone at your side.

I look again at the picture of the two. In Zayn's eyes I try to read how serious he is about Gigi. "That's nonsense, Harry," I think. First, she posted the picture, second, the rules for Zayn and me are clear.We both knew what we were getting into. Did we also suspect the extent? Can we live like this? Lost in thought, I turn my rose ring, which gave me Zayn goodbye.The old time, with all the hardships and disappointments comes back to my mind. I hate to think about it. The pain still affects me today.

Flashback Harry

We all sitting backstage in the lounge together. One more hour until our concert begins. We are on tour through Asia. Louis fools around with Niall and I'm annoyed. I like to calm down before the stress starts. Liam and Zayn talk in whispers and Liam looks worried. 

Zayn is getting thinner and thinner. I've noticed it for weeks. So I made sure he was eating regularly. He does it. Zayn looks sad and I see Liam kissing him on the cheek. He pats Zayn's back with his hand. It cut me to the quick to see him with Liam. He's very close to him.

 Liam and Zayn had a thing in the early days. I was with Louis and Zayn and Liam were flirting with each other. I caught them kissing once. The press made a huge story of it. 

Ziam was born. Later we fell in love and Ziam and Larry were over. 

Now, in the first weeks of 2015, I distance myself from all the bromances. None of us really knows why the chemistry went bad. Zayn is introverted. He is even quieter than usual, sadder and acts apathetic and disinterested even in interviews. I look after him during concerts, supply Zayn with water and share sweets. He seems so fragile and powerless. An empty eye sees through to an empty heart.  I'm sure that there is something wrong with his health. Zayn doesn't talk to anyone about it. This obvious weight loss worries me. Every night I lie awake in bed.