It's taking all your strenght (Zarry /AU.) /English Version

73. Medicine

Harry 

 Long story short... events transpired. In every newspaper, in all news and in the social networks was reported on the separation. Twitter and Instagram collapsed. Everyone was furious. 

Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid broke up.

 I don't know exactly how I feel about it. The statement, which both gave it in addition was styled by the press secretary. No dirty linen was washed in public. Everything great.

My tour has been going on for weeks and I'm in a different place every day. No time to worry about such things. So far, I've done really well. It didn't even taken me any effort not to look on   Zayn's account. I ignored his life. It didn't existed for me. My contact with Louis, on the other hand, is continuous. Nothing has happend between us since the kiss in his kitchen. My feelings for Lou are blurry. I don't know if I'm in love with him. That evening, I just enjoyed the closeness. But love?

A long time ago I wrote "Medicine". It's a song about my love life. I describe sexual experiences - mainly with men. It's a first step to express myself and my sexuality. A thing that I carry half my life with, but never made public. I think this is the perfect time. Zayn is free and the whole world knows it. Tonight I'm going to sing "Medicine" live for the first time. Zayn should remember me and I want to show him my courage to reveal my love for men. Of course it's in a subtle way. But I do it!

Zayn

Via Youtube I watch  Harry's concert in Basel. He is an entertainer. With a lightness he leads through his show. The audience loves him, just like me. Harry has completely changed his wardrobe. He has been the figurehead since the Gucci campaign. Gucci also equipping him on his tour. Honestly, I find him in tight jeans and a plain shirt much more attractive. His body is heavenly in it. The colorful suits are a matter of taste. Harry has grown up. 

Banned, I look at the screen. The crowd is roaring. First chords are played by the band. The song is unknown to me. "Medicine," says Harry. I see my ring on his finger. My heart is jumping in my chest. He's still wearing it, my rose-ring! I dance around the room. "Hazza," I scream, "you didn't  forget me!"

 Harry is now performing "Medicine" and I'm listening to the lyrics. I'm not sure which story he wants to tell. His movements are ecstatic, sexy and ambiguous. At some point I understand the song. He sings about sex with men and women. I hang on his lips. Is this a message to me? Is this a message to Louis? For sure it's a subliminal coming out. The fans are now freaking out. Styles is bisexual, that's the message and he throws it to the public! Wow. 

That same evening, I release my song for Harry. "Let me." I'm not as brave as he is. I can't tell everyone that I'm bisexual and I into Harry Styles. But I can tell Harry that I still love him.