It's taking all your strenght (Zarry /AU.) /English Version

82. Confusion of feelings

Harry

It's the end of April. I was able to escape the bad weather. The sun of Australia is burning from the sky. In two days my next concert will be in Brisbane.

Last night I spotted Zayns teaser on Twitter. He's about to release a new song. My interest is aroused. At the same time I am afraid of it. Curiosity's a maddening thing, isn't it? In the teaser a young woman plays along. She looks so similar to Gigi. That's not a good sign. Does he miss her? What kind of story is Zayn gonna tell?

The last few weeks have been hard for me because nothing happened. Secretly I hoped that Zayn would get in touch. Nothing happened. It is as the earth would have swallowed him up. Well, that's not unusual for him. When he's working on new projects, he withedraws from other people. What worries me, is the long period. He doesn't show any sign of life since Oslo. I thought we had solved the "Louis" problem. Zayn disappeared the next morning and flew back to New York. On the side of his bed there was a short note to me.

" You're a wonderful person, Harry. I hate goodbyes, so I'm already gone. Love you. Z."

When I think about it today, this note has a different meaning. He hates goodbyes? Was that the farewell forever?

My mobile rings. A message from Gemma gets me out of my thoughts.

"Take a look at Zayn's Instagram . He posted a new picture with a Galaxy background. It's wonderful. Love you, Gem"

My sister is aware of the situation. She knows how much I suffer. Gem says, I have to come up with something to reach him. Zayn will continue to watch my performances. So it's wise to include something for him in my show. I like subtle messages and Zayn likes it too. I hurry to the computer and open his profile with a shaky hand.

There he stands shirtless in jeans. His arms are crossed, his eyes closed. The background is fantastic. The Galaxy shines in its splendour. I stare at the picture for minutes.

AN: Finally I found the photo and add it to the chapter . It's not exactly my favorite picture. Zayn looks so skinny and exhausted. I want to say to Harry: "Take care of him lovingly and finally be happy together." 

Zayn

In the last days I met Gigi again. I am an egoist, I know. Being alone was unbearable. It seems to be our fate that we meet again. Gigi is an important part of my life. She is the compass I need in life. Without Gigi I am disoriented.

Gigi is my compass, Harry is my heart. Nothing has changed. I love him; I miss him.

Today he plays in Australia. I'll watch the concert later. I don't have another possibility if I want to remember his face.

Harry's doing a very good show, as usual. He sings the old "One Direction" songs, too. I don't like them anymore. Too many memories of the time in the band. That's all behind me. It hurts, especially because he chose specifically songs. All the old songs tell our story. But maybe they also tell his and Louis' story. I'm not so sure anymore. It confuses me. I look spellbound at the monitor and wait for a sign. There is none. The show ends without a message to me.

The audience demands an encore. Harry comes back on stage. Exactly, one song was missing in the concert today. He takes another guitar and sings....

"Just a Little bit of your heart"

I'm dying. And there is also his message to me. It's not just the song. No, it's the guitar.