The truest thing I have ever said

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Someone told me they wanted to die. I know I can't help them, and nothing I will ever say will make it go away.

But here's what I said:

You know sometimes I feel like I am the only person in the world with my own thoughts, feelings and conscience. Everyone else is just pretending.

So... sometimes caring about people seems pointless.

Because I don't know if they care about me, or whether they'll cease to exist when I pass on.

I am so alone in my mind. I can never venture into anyone else's mind and see what it's like. I tend to wonder why I was chosen to be conscious, in this thing that people call a body. Sure, I can do things, I can move things, and can get up and walk, I can travel the world, I can talk to other people who are supposedly like me, but why? Why is it me?

You cannot convince me that anything is real. Because how should I or anyone know?

I live to escape.

To escape my own thoughts, to escape the world around me. But I would never die to escape, oh no.

For fear that I might be stuck alone with my own thoughts for eternity.

Then how would I escape my own mind?

I guess that's why I don't cut, I don't harm, I don't try to end it all. Because then what? Darkness? Loneliness?

I fear the very day that the luxury of life is taken from me.

I just hope there's a god or something. Maybe I can be by his side and I won't have to be scared.

Because maybe he'll tell me why I did it all.

And I'll finally understand.

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