My Wattpad Rants

Monologues

I focused my evil orbs upon the totally defenseless hero before me. I had my death ray weapon pointed right at him, my finger on the button.

"Just kill me," he said. "Just press it."

"No...I have a better, much more evil idea," was my reply.

"What's worse than killing the hero?" he questioned me with a frown.

"Speaking of my entire plan for twenty minutes so you can escape, of course!"

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WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS

LIKE DUDE

J U S T K I L L H I M

Excuse the all caps so early on, but this literally kills me! Honestly, guys! In stories, when the villain finally corners the hero and has him totally ready for death, he runs his frickin' motor mouth until the hero executes a daring escape in place of him getting literally executed!

And then the villain wonders, "How'd he do that?"

It really frustrates me. Like, seriously. Voldemort. Why not Avada Kadavra the boy instead of talking to your posse? And like, in Doctor Who. Instead of actually exterminating him, the evil little salt shakers stare lustfully at the Doctor for 257892156928569125629856298 minutes.

By the way kudos to you if you actually read that number correctly. I didn't even read it as I typed it. Hell, I didn't even type it. I just banged my head on keyboard out of frustration until it was long enough.

Can you tell how ready for death I am over this?! No?! Then let's continue!!

Not only is this literally the stupidest thing either, but it doesn't make sense. Why on Earth would the bad guy finally capture the hero after an entire story, only to fuck up so badly that he winds up getting away? I really liked in The Incredibles when Syndrome has the whole family trapped and begins monologuing, he catches himself doing it and stops. I believe the exact line is, "You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it!"

This was really great for two reasons. First, the screenwriters actually saw this trope and called bullshit on it. Even though this was in a kids movie, it was still great that they did this. Second, in the movie he stopped himself...and the supers didn't get away! Showing that the monologues are what causes them to escape and that it can be prevented!

(Okay like honestly The Incredibles was just an amazing movie in general. Anyone else excited for the sequel??)

Unfortunately I'm not super well versed in superhero movies, so I'm not able to provide any examples other than those mentioned above; Doctor Who and, of course, Harry Potter. But the second one especially is great, because Voldemort is literally the king of monologues. Goblet of Fire, anyone?

But yeah. that's about it for today. General tip; if you write yourself into a corner where monologues are the only way out, edit! Don't monologue, it's not worth it!

What other examples do you guys have for monologues? Does it happen as often in movies as in books on here? Does it drive you up the wall or do you not mind it? Let me know in the comments, vote if you liked this chapter, and as always thank you so much for reading!!