My Wattpad Rants

Choppy Sentences

"Hi. My name is Grace." I told the girls. They looked at me weird. One even whispered to another behind her hand. I felt my face get hot. It was a sure sign that I was blushing. I couldn't stop it. But I did manage a smile. That seemed to win them over.

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I think writing the bad examples is actually gonna give me a heart attack. Kms.

My health issues aside, today's rant is on choppy sentences.

So it all started this morning when I was having my not-so-healthy dose of fan-fiction. I decided to try a Game of Thrones fan-fic, as I've never read one before. So I click on one that looks promising about my favorite-ish character, Jon Snow. But the sentences had literally been written like in the example above.

Needless to say, I wasn't happy. Severely disappointed would be more accurate, as i had to hit the back button before I'd finished five paragraphs. 

Now I can't personally judge too hard because that's exactly how I wrote when I first began writing stories, mainly because I wasn't very confident. Hell, I'm even unconfident about some aspects of my writing now. (Every semicolon I've ever used has been a total shot in the dark.) So, not knowing whether it was his/her first story, I led it slide.

But c'mon. What the hell.

There's a reason as to why it's bad. All of the sentences are about the same length. So reading gets very repetitive. Especially with shorter sentences. It develops almost a rhythm. Which isn't good when reading. Because it gets very boring. very boring very quickly.

But, what if we start throwing in commas? Or maybe even a sentence of much greater length than the previous sentence? Followed by a short one? It gets less boring, less repetitive, and much more fun to read.

Confession: I had waaaay too much fun writing that because I read something similar when I was younger and it literally blew my mind. Seriously, it was the trippiest thing when I was twelve.

But to get slightly back on track, would it kill us to write more like this:

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"Hi, my name is Grace," I told the girls. They looked at me weird-one even whispered to another behind her hand. I felt my face get hot. It was a sure sign that I was blushing, I couldn't stop it. But I did manage a smile; that seemed to win them over.

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Noticed I wrote the same thing word for word. it was the exact same thing, yet there was at the same time an entire world of difference. Now which would you rather read?

The second one?

Exactly!

Did you start writing in the choppier fashion when you first started, or was that just me? And do you get aggravated when all sentences are the same length or do you not mind as much? Tell me down in the comments, and vote if you enjoyed this chapter. As always, thanks for reading!!