Autumn || styles || slow updates

chapter // ten

a/n: I'm continuing this lol aren't you all happy (i still don't know how i'm ending it but i'll just write random chapters for now)

autumn 2014

Harry

Harry knew something was not right. Autumn didn't look him in the eye as much as she used to. He didn't blame her though, how could she trust him again, after such a long time?

There were so many questions left unanswered.

How was her older brother Chris, was she coping with her mothers death? Is she still with Nick? Harry's teeth clattered and he stared in the distance, when suddenly she asked "are you okay?". Harry wasn't. He felt broken, hurt, and like the biggest jerk ever. He felt betrayed, lost and alone. "I'm fine."

Autumn's hesitated, wondering if he knew how she could always read his mind. "You're not."

Harry abruptly stood up, throwing his hands in the air. "Of course I'm not!" His broad shoulders hang in a defeatist manner as he closed his eyes. Autumn watched him inhale."Are you still with Nick?" Exhale. "No, he left." Harry sat down again, still looking at the ground. "Did you know i-I.." Autumn touched his hand with her fingertips, telling him it was okay to tell her. "You can cry." But Harry didn't want to cry, he didn't want to be weak. He can't be weak, because Autumn needed him more than he needed her. She had gone through stuff, he just.. felt lonely sometimes. He blinked and started rummaging through his pockets, looking for his cigarettes. "I didn't know you smoked." Harry felt himself getting irritated and before he knew it he had said the only thing he didn't want to say. "Yeah, well, you didn't know I was in love with you either."

Autumn

Autumn felt her whole life shattering in front of her. "What did you just say?"

"I loved you, okay?" Harry slowly ran his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. "I loved you and you didn't know, you only cared about Nick. Of course I left you, I just felt sick and tired of looking at you two. Of course I didn't talk to you, because you were always with him!"

"What did you want me to do Harry? I loved him, he was my boyfriend!" Harry had never hear Autumn scream this loud. But he was too furious to notice her desperate voice. "I wanted you to see my misery! I wanted you to love me back as much as I loved you!"

"Well, maybe I did!"

Harry's voice stocked, his body went limb and he looked at her in awe. "You did?"

"You were always there for me Harry, through mourning my mom's death, you were there when we found that dead guy, you comforted me. But Harry, you weren't there when Nick started hating me. You weren't there when paparazzi swarmed my house, when Chris had an epilepsy attack, when dad got so depressed. So my crush for you started to flow away, and I'm honestly glad it did."

Her red hands held the cold metal of the swing set tightly while she angrily looked away.

Harry stared at her, at her beautiful hair, her gray eyes, the dimple in her right cheek. The collarbone near her shoulders stuck out, he noticed, and he looked closely at her, like he had first seen her in a long time. If you looked closely enough you could see bags underneath her grey eyes, you could see a small spark, but not as bright as they used to be. He noticed her feet tapping on the ground, her bitten nails. But most of all he noticed her colourless skin, her ribs slightly visible underneath her t-shirt. Had she been eating enough?

He took a sharp breath. "But Autumn, what if I never wanted your crush to fade away?"