36. You Dont Choose Who You Fall in Love With

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I swallowed hard looking at Yoongi careful not to show him how much I missed spending time with the jerk.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked him. He lowered his head a little, ashamed to meet my eyes.

"How could I miss out on saying thank you for all you've done?" He said quietly.

I sighed and Jimin asked who was it but I didn't respond.

I carefully took the gift basket (avoiding his pale fingers) and I didn't know whether to invite him in or ask him to leave.

He didn't seem to know either.

"Jackson will be mad... if you stick around I mean." I finically said.

Yoongi shrugged "He's at Katlyns for the night."

My eyebrows slightly rose and I almost asked him if he was alright but he chose this life.

I nodded.

"Can I come in maybe?" He scratched the back of his head.

I sighed. "I dunno Yoo—"

Jungkook walked up from behind me placing his hand on my shoulder pulling me closer to him.

"Thanks for the gift basket, see you around." He said sternly. There wasn't a hint in his voice, Yoongi wasn't taking a step in my House.

I pursed my lips and followed Jungkook back inside closing the door behind me.

He chose this.

Jungkook looked over at me to see if I was alright and I gave him a small smile.

I'm fine.

I just wanted to enjoy the night with my friends and nothing else, and that is what I'm going to do.

*

When I woke up I had a headache. My head was throbbing and beads of sweat were making my hair stick to my forehead.

I sat up realizing I was in my room even though I crashed on the couch.

Jungkook must've brought me here.

I sighed throwing myself back onto my warm bed I didn't feel like leaving. I couldn't tell if I was having a bad hangover or if I had caught a cold.

Jungkook knocked on the door saying "Goodmorning."

I smiled and told him to come in. He was wearing his cute little smoothie shack uniform.

"What's up?" I asked shocked at the sound of my hoarse voice.

"Came to bring you some chamomile tea for your head cold and some hangover soup."

I laughed "So I got wasted and I'm sick? Greaaaattttt."

Jungkook nodded "After one drink you were out." He set the soup on the stand as well as the tea.

"But I think we need to talk about something more important." He looked away from me.

My eyebrows shot up. I hope I didn't say something stupid while I was drunk.

"Yeah?" I asked taking a sip of the tea.

He nodded. " I wasn't trying to be nosy but..." he handed me a note and I opened it. "It was in the gift basket."

Soelhyun,

I know this is supposed to be an apology, but I have so much more I want to say to you that I might not get a chance to say to you in person. So, thank you for everytjing to start off. Whether you did it because you had feelings for me or whatever reason I'm thankful that I met you and I'd do it all over again any day. I'm really sorry you had to see me like this, and we're in this state in our relationship. Soelhyun I want you to know you changed my life for the better and you are someone I trust and care about dearly. I know Jackson is awful but I tried so hard not to love him but I do. There's no comparison between him and you, you are worth so much more. But you don't choose who you fall in love with I guess. I hope with time you can come to forgive me, because I don't think I'll be able to go on knowing you hate me. I hate myself for liking Jackson and I didn't want it to interfere with you. I love you Solehyun, just not in the way you want me to. I hope you can understand.

I sighed and folded the note before tossing it onto the counter.

Jungkook was studying my reaction carefully. "Are you okay?"

I looked over at him and smiled. As torn up as I was inside I couldn't let this draw out any longer.

"I should get to work." I told him.

Jungkook shook his head. "You have a high fever. Take this medicine, eat your soup and drink your tea. Then, I might let you get out of bed rest."

I raised my eyebrows. "Wow Jungkook I didn't know you were my dad."

He shrugged. " I texted Jimin and told him you're sick so you have all day to rest up. I'm going to be at the Smoothie Shack until two but I'll try to get off early."

I shook my head "You don't have to get off early for me. I'll be fine." I smiled at him reassuringly.

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Don't think about him while I'm gone okay?"

"Who? I don't have anyone in specific I'm thinking of lately." I played along.

He laughed and leaned over placing his hand on my head.

"Yeah, it's a little hot but you're much better than yesterday." He drew away and stood up. "You need some ice cream to give you a brain freeze to counteract your fever."

I laughed "Yeah whatever I'll be fine. Go make some money or something."

He waved bye as I threw a pillow at him.

Once Jungkook left, the house was annoyingly quiet. My eyes drifted over to the letter Yoongi wrote me. I hesitantly picked it up and flicked my eyes over it once more, and then another time.

I didn't notice my eyes getting damp and I finally tore my eyes away from the paper.

"I don't know if I should walk away or try harder." I complained to myself.

Being mad at him wouldn't solve anything. He hurt me, but it's not like he could force himself to like me.

"I just wanted one chance. He didn't even consider—" my face was getting hot so I stopped talking to myself.

I sighed into my pillow wishing things could be different. I didn't know if I should take that note as he will never like me or something else. I was confused and I didn't want to see him but at the same time I wanted to see him more than anyone.

"I hate this whole situation." I breathed into my pillow.

I tore myself away from my pillow noticing I was getting snot on it.

"Gross."

I downed the soup and tea and made my way to the living room to turn on tv. Jungkook had cleaned everything, and left me a little note that made me smile.

If you're well enough I'll take you out for dinner. Stay out of trouble.
Jungkookie

I placed the note in my pocket and lounged around for another two hours. I didn't know why I half expected Yoongi to knock on my door, but he didn't.

I shook my head from thinking about him "I guess he was right, you definitely don't choose who you fall in love with."

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