Coffee, Brownies and the Ruthless CEO (MxM)| FILLING THE VOID series, BOOK 1

37. Chapter - Guilt

OLIVER's POV

It took me too long to react. I was frozen at spot, my brain refusing to deliver the needed signals for me to move. It was like paralysis. I was so shocked I simply forgot what needed to be done. What was even happening? What was Victor doing to me? He was too close. There was a suspicious wetness on my lips that wasn't supposed to be there, and I could feel his breath on them.

My face was on fire. Were there hands on my cheeks?

A gentle touch of his tongue and an attempt to make me return the kiss worked as an electric jolt, which got me out of the trance. I pushed him away, staring at him in utter terror, my mind turning into a complete mess. As much as I wanted to yell at him and call him every swear word I knew, I couldn't make a sound. All I managed was a nonsensical stuttering.

My lips were still tingling as an ugly evidence of what had happened, my whole body starting to tremble. Unwanted memories flooded my already confused mind, and I felt tears filling my eyes.

This couldn't be happening.

Not sparing him a glance, I got in the car and locked the doors in case Vic got some weird idea of getting in as well. You never knew with him. His brain worked on completely different waves compared to normal people. 

Trying to calm down, I squeezed the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I wasn't in any state to drive, too shaken up and too confused, but we couldn't stay there any longer. I needed to get back home. I needed to get back to Josh.

"Oh, God," I whispered, realizing just how bad the situation really was. I might had not returned the kiss, but I was naïve enough to give him an opportunity to do it on his own. I knew the guy. I knew what kind of a person he was. But I still let my guard down. A mistake I was going to regret for a long time. I was sure of it.

"Daddy?" Matt's voice sounded from behind me, making me realize I didn't have time to panic or cry over spilt milk.

Breathing out and wiping away the tears in my eyes, I turned to look at him, putting on the best smile I could at the moment.

"I'm sorry it took such a long time. You have to be tired, right? I'll be taking us home now." I tried for a better, encouraging smile as I could feel my attempt earlier failed terribly, waiting for Matty to return the smile. I could see he knew something was up and wanted to fire off several questions, but he didn't. He just nodded his head in a very slow motion, his lips turning upwards. He had to be exhausted. There was no other explanation as to why he was so tame at the moment.

Turning back, I started the car and got out of the parking lot, continuing on our way home. I wanted to be back as soon as possible. 

***

By the time I was parking the car in our garage, guilt filled my whole being, and I wasn't sure I was ready to see Josh. How was I going to explain this to him? There was no way in hell I could keep this a secret. Secrets like this had no place in a relationship, if we wanted it to work. I had to tell him what happened. The only problem was I wasn't sure how. Do I just spill it out the moment I see him? Should I prepare him somehow? Or should we calmly sit down the next day and discuss it as if nothing happened? There were too many possibilities and even though I knew Josh very well, we never had to deal with a situation like this, and I was afraid of his reaction. I was terrified of what he would do and say. He was worried about this meeting from the beginning. Telling him what happened would just confirm his fears, and just the imagination of his possible response made me shiver in uneasiness. 

"We're home, Matty. You need to take a bath or at least shower after the whole day in the park. Do you want to eat something first?" I asked while helping him out the car, trying not to think about anything at all. Getting Matthias to bed was my priority at the moment, and it couldn't be done before he washed away all the sweat and dirt from the afternoon.