She's Gonna Beat This World (twd fanfic)

8. Sorry, Not Sorry

    "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you with a knife." Not good enough.

"Hey There, by the way, sorry I threatened you with a knife."

What's wrong with me. hey there? Apollo just looks at me like I'm crazy, maybe cause I'm talking to myself.

    I am tying to think of what to say to Carl, since I have to apologize to him. I really do feel bad about his dad and for threatening him... with a knife, well on the bright side at least I didn't threaten him with my gun, cause that would have been a big problem.

    I sigh dramatically, I might as well just do it. When Shane asks he will be mad if he finds out I didn't apologize.

   Carl is sitting by himself in his tent, with puffy and red eyes.

"hey" I say awkwardly.

He looks at me almost like he's scared or something. Oh, well I did threaten him.

"You don't have to be scared of me anymore, I'm not gonna stab you, or beat you up because you snitched on me."

He looks relived, and visibly relaxes.

"why are you here?"

"Cause I have to apologize for what I did."

I'm stalling, I hate apologizing, I mean I wouldn't have done it if I didn't mean it. It's basically like going back on your word.

   "You don't have too if you don't want to." He must have noticed my hesitation.

"actually yes, I do. Shane is gonna ask you if I did later, and I'd rather he gets the answer he wants."

"oh so you're not really sorry."

" I didn't say that, cause I am sorry I threatened you, I shouldn't have."

"It's ok I guess, is that really your your knife?" 

"yeah, who else would it belong too?"

" I don't know, I wish I could carry a knife."

"I am not allowed to Anymore."

"Really? Did Shane take it away?"
I nod.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean for him to..."

"it's fine, I have another one, but I swear if you tell him that I'll feed ya to Apollo." He looks at me funny.

"who's Apollo?" He perks up when he hears his name.

"that's my dog."

He gives a little glance at him and smiles.

"Why are you all alone? Where's your mom and dad?"

"None ya," he looks confused.

"None ya what?"

"None ya freakin business." He smiles.

"why are you so defensive?" I think I'm gonna take that as my cue to leave.

"Bye"

I say without answering his question. I hear him say something else, but I ignore him. I walk out of the tent and Apollo follows me,

"good boy" praise him.

When we walk into camp I see Shane, I try to walk past without him knowing, but he calls me over.

"Mason, did you apologize?"

"yeah why else would I be in their tent?" I say with attitude.

"I'm sure you would like to be in me, Lori, and Carl's tent more often without Carl and I."

I say the last part quietly so he can't hear me, and walk away quickly. I wish he would just leave me alone. My dog growls a bit as we leave.

I am about to go down to the quarry when I see a small tent with a big man in front of it smoking a cigarette, being lazy, while a woman with gray hair is doing all the work. She looks so tired. A little girl walks out of the tent and starts to help her mother. I can't hear what their saying, but I hear yelling... from the man at least, the girls just stand their and take it.
    Out of nowhere the man stands up, and slaps the woman, and leaves. The woman falls down, and the little girl who now has tears streaming down her face gets down and lays next to her mother on the ground.

What if my mother had stayed, would that be us, Seeking comfort from each other? it sounded nice to have someone to share the pain with, but on the other hand I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

and my dog licks my neck, and I give a small laugh hoping nobody heard and would catch me spying. Even if they did no more apologies, if I do something it's cause I want to, and nobody's gonna change it cause it isn't their business.

     From now on it's me and Apollo, I can't get close to anybody, their just gonna let me down. Ya can't trust anybody but yourself.