WHEELCHAIR- A Shizaya story

CHAPTER 14

Shizuo's pov

"Flea, who the fuck are you talking to?... SHINRA???" his appearance scared the shit out of me "Oh, but what are you up to here in America dear Shinra~?" mocked that scum trying not to show his surprise. I hit my head twice thinking I was seeing thinks and Shinra TRULY is a disturbing thing! He once peeled some of the skin off my shoulder and was like 'do you feel it Shizuo-kun or should I take off the next layer of your derm too'. Of course I hadn't bloody felt it, hadn't even heard him approaching me!

"I'm enjoying my honeymoon with Celty! There is a lot of stuff to do here, we'll also be visiting some touristic spots and some malls. She kind of likes the place even though USA's the first country any alien wants to conquer-" "How the fuck did they let a headless woman on the plane?" while I was sure I'd get a Restriction Order from most of the air travel companies "Shiki-san brought me here!" Izaya facepalmed. For the first time I could actually share the same emotion with the flea, besides hate... It was frustration "Where is Celty now?" he asked "In the car. What would people think if they saw her beauty on the streets? Americans do not deserve her and we all know why". That was another way of saying that the citizens will have a heart attack if they meet the dullahan face to... neck? Who knows? Maybe her walking downtown will rezult in new conspiracy theories and this little russet-eyed bastard will make sure to spice them up!

Celty doesn't deserve all that shit around her! She's more of a human that I will ever be and Shinra isn't in the slightest worthy of her love... but Celty selflessly loves him and cares for him deeply... man I'd like that too... I'd like that a lot... new experiences, someone to sleep next to, someone to enjoy food with, to even quarrel with... shit! Why do I feel like that's what my life has been the last few days with the flea? Talk, eat, argue, sleep time and time again.

"Shizu-chan we're leaving!" What? "What?!" Shinra seemed hurt in a theatrical way "And now, Shinra you will not tell a soul you ever saw us today and will leave for your dearest headless rider. In the meanwhile I give this back to you" he said somehow producing a phone that apparently was Shinra's out of his jacket "and you'l contact me in... exactly 10 hours. I expect you to be at the adress from the message at midnight and bring Celty with you. She could make sure you two are not followed. Good bye and see you soon! Shizu-chan, push the chair and let's go." "B-but..." "Now."

Dealing with a flea is fucking hard work! Shinra just turned on his heels and left with a faint smile that showed confusion and something else. I have seen enough perverts pervert thinking about perverted things so what the hell was going through that creep's head?!

*On their way back, 10 minutes later

Izaya's pov

Hey, God, let's get things straight. You know I want ethernal life, that's why I hid the black riders head, so that after I die I would continue living in another relam or maybe go to Valhalla, or heaven, however you call it. It's really easy to understand. I'll get this drug obsessed human behind bars, therefor many lives will be spared, and you will send Cely for my soul with a ticket for paradise! Oh, and while I am at it, with all these righteous acts, I will erase Shizu-chans immense debt and maybe he will get to live the paeceful live he always dreamed of. Now that doesn't seem like something that I would do, ne?

I can't say I won't miss messing up with the protozoan, but I already did my role in this world. All I wanted to do was to prove that either me or the blond is a monster. Guess what, the answer was d) none of the above. My ass is just as weak as a humans and Shizu-chan spared my life. Yup, the world has ended and we all live in a cheap carbon copy. Well, it's not like my end is that far either. I have a feeling that I will meet with some of the unfortunate girls from the suicide chat room scarily soon...

"Shizu-chan..." "What?" he said quite concerned maybe thinking about why would we meet soo late with our... friends "Let's buy some otoroo and some wine on our way back" he then looked constipated "What in the world flea? You've been playing up all morning!" "What, you can't hold your alcohool Shizu-Shizu. Is it because of all the milk you consume?"... "I swear I'll throw you in this poorly recycled garbage can if you don't hold YOUR horses and don't call me that or your new nickname will be buttface!" "Oh well, Shizu-chan if you want that with me... You now... It's caled a garbage can, not a garbage can not!"

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"Pha-ha ha ha h aha ha- flea, you're killing me! Where do you get those bad puns from, your flea sized brain? Oh my god! I even teared up a bit!" "Only bad jokes amuse you? Totally expected. Don't you want to evolve Shizu-chan, like, to a bicellular organism?"

Shizu-chan's no fun like this! "I can hold my liquor better than you. How different can your fancy overpriced dark wine be from the classical sake? Why do we need wine anyway? And otoroo is soo bitter I will leave you in the mall if we don't get something on my taste as well! You hear me?"

*At Namie's house

Shizuo's pov

"This is some good quality wine, did you Heiwagima-san chose it?" "I'm hurt Namie dear! Didn't you know I have fine tastes in everything? Maybe if you would have accepeted my proposals to get you out for dinner you would have known~".... "You did good, Namie-san" "Well thank you Heiwajima-kun! But now that you bought these we shouldn't let them go to waste an-" "Those are for the guests~"

"What?" "I invited Shinra over~" second facepalm of the day goes to Namie "Apparently he is having a love making marathon with his now wife Celty here in San Fransisco and I thought maybe he could help us with the conclusion the we got to. The dulahan should know whether there are any supernatural creatures that can manipulate humans and of course a way to get rid of them".

After that we waited... and waited... and waited. Surprisingly Namie was bored of the dumbasses midnight plans and left to catch some hours of sleep. I couldn't help but make fun of the flea who ate half of the otooro just by himself and was like 'What are you looking at? There's just enough left for the lovers' of course there was enough, he bought like 2 kilos of it and paid for them a small fortune but still less than for the wine! Were the grapes like washed in unicorn tears or something? Did a god shit in the liquid? Because I wouldn't pay this much even on a new phone! "You must really like fatty tuna then..." "Of course~" said Izaya while nibbling at another small piece "It's just as bitter as you, at the end of the day. Didn't you ever get food poisoning from the raw fish?" "Oh, but what's with this question? Started caring about me Shizu-chan? Just you know, I only eat the best of otooro~ But yes, it did happen once... You chased me more than usual on that day..."

Yeah... I remember... He thought I lost him after some dark alleys. I hid myself as I'd heard him slow down before he stopped and made sure there was a bin or something like that. He threw up right after that and I left a little disgusted and with slight pity... for the garbage can! Yup, not for the flea! No!

It was literally 0:30 in the morning when someone knocked on the door. It was Shinra, big surprise, and Cely, the only decent beeing there! "Late welcome, Shinra dear! You're just as punctual as ever!" said a quite annoyed flea that made the effort to open for the doctor "Oh, hi Izaya! Shizuo-kun! Long time no see Namie-san!... Oh, hi dad!... DAD?!" Rusty shrieks escaped the masqued man's mouth "HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET IN?!" I seemed to be speaking for everyone.