Won't Give Up on You - Kane Brown Love Story

Lose It

*Sawyer's POV*

I had slammed every door in the house on my way up to my room. It hadn't been him. He was already gone. I'd never see him again. My father had yelled at me to stop slamming doors until he saw the tears streaming down my face. I was curled up in my room on my bed, holding Kane's shirt close to me. It still smelled like him and if I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine him laying there with me. How he'd say he loved me too and how he would give me some explanation for leaving. I jumped when I felt a hand on my back.

"Kane?! Oh...." I said as it was my father sitting on my bed, "What do you want?"

"I saw the trucks going through town. I'm sorry, honeybee." My dad said

I collapsed into his arms and cried while clinging to his shirt. He smelled like pine trees and his aftershave and I fell asleep to those familiar scents from when I was little. He wasn't an alcoholic. He was a good father and had been doing his best to take care of us on his own, but it was difficult for him, even when I was here helping. Which I hadn't been as I had recently been with Kane most of the time lately.

*Kane's POV*

I was in the makeup room, biting my lip as the woman who smelled like cigarettes and too much hair spray put makeup under my eyes to hide their puffiness from me having cried. My manager showed up in the door way and sent the woman away. My manager closed the door to my dressing room and turned to look at me in the mirror. I found myself looking down at the ground like a little boy who knew he was guilty.

"Fifteen minutes until you go on." My manager said

"I know." I shrugged on my jacket

"She could've been dangerous. I know you don't think so but you need to stop thinking about her and start thinking about your fans. They come first now and they're waiting." My manager said

I nodded and we walked towards the stage. I heard the loud roar of the crowd. I felt my chest tighten like it has before every one of my panic attacks. I closed my eyes and breathed and everything fell away and all I saw was Sawyer's face back in Georgia out on the patio by the fire as she comforted me.

My manager snapped me out of it by pushing me onto the stage and the lights blinded me as the music blared through my ear pieces. My eyes darted back and forth and my head was spinning. It was as if I could hear her plain as day. As if there was no roaring crowd of fans, no loud music, none of it. I could hear her voice telling me to breathe. This was insane. It'd only been a day since I left and I missed her so much that I was hallucinating. But it was what got me through the show.

*few hours later*

Everyone on the bus was asleep so I grabbed the memory card out of my pocket and put it in my computer. I had swiped it from my Manager's bus just after the show while everyone else was celebrating our first successful show of the tour.

I pulled up the pictures and flipped through them. I needed to see her face one last time. There were a lot of me and her at the store and pictures from our hike. By the last picture, I felt an aching in my chest. Why hadn't I just stuck up for her?Why didn't I chase after her? It was all so frustrating.

The ache in my chest grew with each show I did. My panic attacks had seemed to have stopped and everyone had said that my time off for therapy had worked, but it had really been me staying up late looking at photos of Sawyer and me hearing her voice in my head whenever I would start to panic. Trying to remember her voice was hard as it became harder to remember clearly.

They would've said that I was losing it and they would've been right. No one was allowed to mention her name or talk about what had happened. But I saw her in everything. At one point I thought I had seen her back stage only to realize my mind had made it up. I couldn't sleep without dreaming of her. It was a blessing and a curse. My heart ached so bad that seeing her in my sleep even hurt so I stopped sleeping, again.

We had thought that the media had grown board of the story and we were ready to promote me being back on tour. My manager had set up an interview and we were just about to go on air. The hosts had shaken hands with me and I smiled as they called "action".

"Well good morning everyone tuning in, we have here with us today the rising country star Kane Brown. We're so glad to have you here and we know you're extremely busy with your new tour dates." The female anchor said

"Well thanks for havin' me. We've been stayin busy but it's been a lot of fun getting back out there and on tour again." I said

"So let's talk about that. You had some medical issue but you're doing better now, right?" The male anchor asked

"Yeah, I was dealing with some anxiety problems but I'm doing a lot better now. I'm excited to be back. I missed seeing all my fans and hearing them sing my songs back to me" I smiled

"Well I bet they're glad to have you back and I'm sure they missed you too." The female said

"So can we be expecting any new music from you then? We heard you were hard at work down in your home state of Georgia." The male asked

"We're workin on a few things but we don't have anything set yet." I said

"Speaking of Georgia, I'm sure all the folks at home would like to know who this girl you were with is." The male asked

I felt the color drain from my face as he spoke. I looked up at their screen that was showing pictures of Sawyer and I. The one that they stayed on was of me holding her close in the store. Everything sounded muffled, like I was under water. I looked at the two anchors and back at the picture of Sawyer and me. I could feel the tears sting my eyes the longer I stared. My manager was trying to force them to cut the interview when I opened my mouth. 

"Sawyer..." I whimpered pathetically

"We're off the air." Called the stage manager

I was whisked off the set and I thought we were going back to my dressing room but we were headed towards the bus. When I got to the steps of the bus, the weight was too much and I dropped to y knees and cried. It took three large security members to get me up and into my bed on the bus. I lost it.

*Sawyer's POV*

I had just begun to feel better and I was in the kitchen chopping tomatoes while dad was watching television in the other room. I heard the mention of the name Kane Brown and looked up briefly. He was there on the television. He looked happy. Happy without me there. I shook my head and switched to chopping peppers.

"Speaking of Georgia, I'm sure all the folks at home would like to know who this girl you were with is." the male host asked.

I heard my father breathe out suddenly and looked up. There on the television was pictures of Kane and me at the store. I was speechless and couldn't move. Then I caught a glimpse of Kane's face. He looked pale and upset. Tears had sprung to his eyes and he swallowed roughly as he tried to choke them back. All he could do was stare at the monitor. Was he appalled? My father looked at me and back at the television, but my eyes were focused on Kane's face.

"Sawyer...." Kane croaked

He sounded exhausted and heart broken. Almost as much as me. He looked so tired, like he hadn't been sleeping. But why would he sound heartbroken when he was the one who chose to leave. The broadcast was cut short by a commercial break. He chose to leave, didn't he?

Didn't he?