musical oneshots yeeters

Third Times the Charm- no ship

TW: Its gonna be rough so ya might wanna skip this whole thing. This whole thing is # rough so just don't read if you are triggered by death (I'm sorry I'm so cruel)
EVANS POV

Dear Evan Hansen,
I'm a failure. I failed my dad, so he left. I failed my mom, so she works and takes classes and leaves me alone all the time. I don't have any friends and the one guy who I can call my closest "acquaintance" hates me now. I just wish everything was different. I wish I wasn't a failure, I wish people cared about me. I mean, would anyone even remembered me if I died? Even if they do, it would probably be a day, or maybe 2 days if I'm lucky. No one cares. I'm a nobody.

I tried to kill myself, twice actually, and failed both times. Why? Why does the world want me to live? I want to die. No one understands. The people who I see walk the halls just think I'm some quiet kid who sits in the back of the class. No one knows anything else about, know one knows that I have feelings too. No one knows that I can be really funny, or I just want someone to talk to that's not my mom or my therapist. But I know that's not possible. I know it's not possible and I know that there's something wrong with me. I know that there's a reason why I want to die, but there's no way I can explain it to everyone. But this is it; the final time. You know, most say third times the charm, so I'm going to go for it. Goodbye. 

Sincerely,

your only friend, me

THIRD POV

Evan sat at his desk, tears blurring his vision as he typed frantically.  For now, he had to get his thoughts out on paper, but he never realized how real they really are. Evan looked over the finished product and thought for a moment. I actually am fucking helpless aren't I? I mean, it says it all rights here, I legitimately wrote out what is actually true. Evan silently confirmed with himself with what he was going to do. He thought about it as he printed out his letter. He thought about it as he walked the empty halls of his house to get his letter. He thought about as he placed the letter on his bed that he actually made for the first time in a long time. He thought about it as he sent an apology text to Jared, but not to his mom. She would get the letter. He thought about it as he grabbed the toxic pills from the cabinet in the bathroom, silently cursing for knocking into the children's medicine that his mom still gives him from time to time. He finally stopped thinking and tossed the contents of the bottle into his mouth. The fact that Evan was finally getting what he wanted was his last thought before the pills had done their magic and slowly forced Evan's body into a coma-like state from which he'd never wake again. 

... 

Before Evan died, Jared received a text saying, Sorry for everything. Third times the charm. Jared played it off, thinking it was some weird thing his therapist told him to do. Jared went back to playing video games and pretended like the text didn't even happen. 

When Heidi got home from her shift, late that night, she called for Evan, just in case he was up, but she got no response. When she went into his room to see if he was there, she realized he wasn't. Finally Heidi checked the bathroom and what she saw was something she never hoped to see: her son, unconscious on the floor, not breathing. After long fits of crying, she went back in to Evan's room and saw the letter that she didn't notice before. The one thing she did notice was how third times the charm was underlined in pencil three times. 

Heidi chocked back a sob. "I'm so sorry, Evan." 

/Woah, the author is alive? thats weird now isnt it. I'm exhausted, enjoy this depressing chapter I just wrote@imastupidduck was that longer than 10 min? oops. byeee/

-Gabby