I Need You

35

Today is the day of the concert.  We all wake up around 9:30, get dressed in some workout clothes, and head out of the van and into the arena.  They have some breakfast food set out for us, so we eat a little bit and get to work.

We fix a few little tweaks here and there and we make sure all the lights and sounds are working properly.  We do a run-through of the whole thing, minus going full out and some effects, and then we finish.  

At every concert, at every dress rehearsal we do right before a concert, when we finish, we sit down in a circle for about an hr and just talk.  Usually, I sit with Jungkook in-between his legs and his arms around me, but obviously, that is not gonna happen.

So, I sit in-between Jimin and V today and Jungkook is sitting right across from me.  We talk for about 30 minutes about random things, and we goof off, listen to music and dance, and just laugh.  For the next 30 minutes, we have a heart-to-heart talk.  

"Ok everyone, listen," says RapMon, "as all of you know, there has been some tension in our group," and everyone looks at me and Jungkook.  We look at each other and then look away.

"I want everyone, and I mean everyone, to go around and say one thing they love about each and every member.  Ok?" says RapMon.  Everyone nods.

"I'll go first," says J-Hope raising his hand.

J-Hope goes around each person saying something he loves about each member.  Then it's Suga's turn, then RapMon's, then Jin's.

Now it's V's turn.

"Something I love about," he says looking around the room, "Jungkook, is his passion for his dancing and music and how much he cares for his band mates and people he really likes," everyone looks up at me and I just pretend to ignore, "Something I like about Jade is how kind she is to everyone and how she has fit into this group so well and betters all of us." I look at V and give him a smile and a hug.  V goes on talking about the rest of the group and then it is Jimin's turn.  

After Jimin goes, it is Jungkook's turn.

"Something I love about...," he says to all the guys until he finally lands on me.

"Something I love about Jade is how understanding she is and how she always knows what to say and when."  I'm looking at the ground and I smile.  I look up at him and give him a nod and he nods back.

Now it's my turn.

"Something I love about RapMon is how great of a leader he is to all of us and how big his drive is for his music.  Something I love about Suga is how genuine he is even if he doesn't like to show his emotions.  Something I love about Jin is his clumsiness and how quickly he can make anyone laugh, even with his dad jokes.  Something I love about J-Hope is how he just moves with the music and is very passionate about his dancing.  Something I love about Jimin is how goofy he is and how his smile is contagious.  Something I love about V is how he is always there when I need him when I need to talk and how crazy funny he is and can be."

Last, is Jungkook, "Something I love about Jungkook is how he never fakes how he feels or does anything 'for show,' it's always just him.  I also love how easy it is to talk to him about anything no matter what the situation is."

We make eye contact for a solid second and then look away from each other again.  This little 'game' was very beneficial in my opinion.  There were a lot of laughs, too.

Now, we have to go get ready for the concert.  We head backstage and I head to my dressing room while the guys all head to theirs.  

Tonight I am wearing a black tshirt crop top, black ripped shorts, black heeled booties, my hair in a high ponytail with braids on the top of my head, and some makeup on.

When they are finished dolling me up, I head to the boy's dressing room to hang out for a bit before the concert.  They are still getting ready since there are more of them, so I just sit and go check my socials.  On instagram, I now have 75 million followers, on twitter I have 25 million, and on Youtube I now have 10 million subscribers.

I turn on some music while the guys finish getting ready and start to stretch and get some of my pre-performance jitters out.

After about another 20 minutes, the guys are all finished and it is time to head to the stage.

As we get closer to the stage door, we can hear the crowd screaming.  I always find it funny how they are screaming and stuff before we even get to the stage.

The guys all get ready to go on stage.  They begin to run on stage one after another.  

Jungkook is always last to run on stage.  He turns back to look at me, and where he usually winks and waves, he just looks down and turns back and runs onto stage.

The guys perform 2 of their intro songs and now they are about to introduce me.  Once they do, the crowd screams and I run on stage and wave to everyone.  When I get downstage to where the guys are, V and Jimin give me a hug and I'm between them and we are all laughing.  

We perform a few songs and I am out of breath.  I get a little break before Jungkook and I have to go on stage for our duet, so when I get backstage I am hyperventilating.  They pack me down in ice packs and give me a bunch of water. 

After 5 minutes, I am fine.  J-Hope is about to go on to perform is solo, and then it is Jungkook and I's duet. 

J-Hope finishes his solo perfectly, as usual, and now it is time for Jungkook and I's duet.

When we enter the stage, we are walking side by side, and smiling and waving, but the crowd isn't as loud as they usually are.  I think they all assume that something is wrong.  Jungkook puts his arm around my shoulders and gives me a quick side hug and then we go to sit down in the 2 chairs set for us.

We begin to sing "Nothing Like Us," for the audience.  They all turn on their camera flashlights and begin to wave them.

When we finish the song, we stand up and take a bow.  The managers want us to speak to the audience today to address what has been going on.  So, I decide to talk first.

"Hey guys," I say walking forward and the crowd screams and then silences, "so, if you know Jungkook and I, you know that we sing songs that relate to what is going on between us.  So, as you could all tell, this song was a little sadder than our past ones if you've seen videos of us singing them or you've been to previous concerts.  Well," I look at Jungkook for approval and he nods, "Jungkook and I have broken up."  The whole audience "boos" and I can see some girls crying.

Tears begin to form in my eyes and I look at Jungkook who is now walking forwards and taking over.  I step back and let him talk.

"Yes, um, Jade finished things when she saw, and you guys probably saw, the picture of me and Irene.  I still," he starts, tears now forming in his eyes, "I still love her a lot, but I accepted her decision to end things."

Jungkook looks back at me and his eyes are all watery and some tears are managing to escape his eyes.  Tears are now dropping to my cheeks one at a time, and I try to wipe them, but I don't want to ruin my makeup, so I just let them fall.

After a few more seconds, Jimin rushes on stage and puts his arm around me and leads me off the stage.  Now I am crying harder and I am so embarrassed.  I told myself I wouldn't cry over Jungkook anymore.

V and Jin have also made their way on stage and they put their hands on Jungkook's upper back and led him off the stage.  

Before we exited, I give the audience one last wave and so did Jungkook.

Backstage, Jimin is giving me a hug and rubbing my back.  Jungkook, V, and Jin appear moments later and I look up and Jungkook is looking at me.  He is all teary eyed and he looks so hopeless and sad. 

I turn away, crying harder now, and walk out the door towards the dressing rooms into the hallway.  I hear footsteps behind me.  

"Jade," I hear his perfectly recognizable voice say.  I turn around, hands covering my face, and just stand there frozen.