Calming The Beast

20.

Logan wakes in her bed back at the cabin, she stretches a little and sits up, glancing to her side, the warmth of the body next to her a soothing comfort. Robbie sleeps with her, always with her when he's travelling with them. She can't leave him in his own room, she just doesn't feel safe doing it. She likes him close so she can protect him. But he's getting older. And will soon be too old to sleep with his mommy. She's not looking forward to that day. He shifts slightly in his sleep, curling up and around the bear in his arms, his secret pal, Robbie will never admit it to his friends or his Uncles that he does still need a bear to sleep with. The bear actually was something John gave him. The only thing John gave him. It's tattered and old and fading but Robbie refuses to give it up. She just watches him sleep a moment. She forgot. She forgot how much like Bruce he looks. She reaches out and brushes his hair back from his forehead and strokes his cheek. Robbie wakes slowly, softly, pulling the bear closer and then realises his mother is watching him.

"Stop it" he whines a little, she chuckles. "Creepy" he mumbles.

"Pancakes?" Logan asks Robbie who nods sleepily. She kisses his cheek and climbs out of bed. He falls back to sleep in her absence. She stretches her arms over her head as she leaves the room, keeping the door open so she can see him as she gets breakfast ready.

...........

Robbie sits eating pancakes, bacon and syrup, his favourite, when Sam and Dean join him and Logan who is pouring out her coffee, Dean and Sam's already waiting for them on the table, Dean hums happily sitting and grabbing his coffee.

"We got a case" Sam tells Logan as he takes the seat next to Robbie, Logan hums a little listening, she then sets her own coffee on the table.

"Where?" She asks.

"Michigan" Dean mumbles around his coffee, his eyes flitter to Robbie who is busy talking with Sam across the table, Dean glances back to Logan. "You coming?" he asks her, she shakes her head.

"No" she answers. "I just need some more time with him" she adds. "After...." she stops herself. "After Bruce..." she whispers. "I need...." Dean nods, gets it. "I need to keep him close" she finishes sitting next to her big brother. Being around Bruce again has shaken Logan, and both her brothers can see it, the tired lines under her eyes, the sad shine to them, they see her playing with her necklace more often. Dean knows how much Bruce meant to her, how much it had hurt loosing him, how tortured she was by the thought of never seeing him again. Dean knows because he was the one that held her as she cried through the night. He was the one she came to in tears clutching a pregnancy test. He was the one that helped her tell John. Dean was her rock after Bruce. Whilst Sam was away at school Dean was the one there with Logan through it all. And it shows. Even now after all this time Logan and Dean are still close, she and Sam are too now of course, but that part of her life bonded her and Dean. Dean cups the side of her head and threads his fingers through her hair, she smiles a little looking to him.

"I'll call Bobby" Dean offers. "Get him to pick up some supplies"

"I am perfectly capable of going shopping" She argues pulling her coffee closer.

"Do you have a car?" Dean asks her, she pauses and then looks down, Robbie chuckles a little. "Thought not" Dean adds.

"Maybe I should have one" Logan offers. "You know...." Dean frowns and looks to her.

"Why?" he asks. "I drive you everywhere" he points out, she nods.

"Yeah, that's the point" she argues. "I mean..." she shrugs. "Just in case" Dean watches her a moment, she has a point, if something were to happen up here then it's a long way for anyone to come running, and if she needs anything then it's a long walk.

"I'll talk to Bobby" Dean tells her softer. She nods a little and goes to her food, Sam looks to Robbie.

"Can we get a cool one?" Robbie asks. "Like with a go faster stripe on the side" Logan smirks a little. "And a proper radio..." Dean pulls an offended face looking at his nephew.

"Whoa, dude, what are you saying?" Dean asks him.

"That your car is a piece of crap" Robbie answers, Logan chokes on her coffee as Sam coughs to cover his chuckle.

"I'm sorry what was that?" Logan asks looking to her son who seems to figure out.

"Urm...nothing" Robbie answers smiling sweetly at her, turning his own set of puppy dog eyes on his mother.

"Who taught you that word?" She asks, Dean suddenly looks away cringing. Logan takes a breath and turns to Dean who shakes his head at her and then he nods

"It slipped out" Dean admits. "I told him not to use it" Dean argues quickly. Logan turns back to Logan.

"Don't use that sort of language" Logan scolds Robbie. "Not until you're older and you understand the meaning behind the words you are using, and the context" Robbie nods and looks down. "You gonna pout all day now, aren't you?" Logan asks, Robbie nods again. Logan shoots Dean a look, he mouths 'I'm sorry' at her. She rolls her eyes and stands, picking up her food, untouched and sets it aside, Sam notices that she hasn't eaten anything, and will likely bring it up later. Robbie pokes at the remainder or his own pancakes as everyone else is quiet, Logan clears up the dishes she used to cook and Sam and Dean share a look before looking away again. 

.........

Dean throws his duffel into the trunk of the impala and turns to Robbie sat on the bench behind him. Dean glances to the open door of the cabin and then shifts closer to the boy.

"Behave for your mother" Dean warns Robbie.

"Okay" Robbie whispers.

"She loves you, so very much" Dean assures him. "You have no idea how much" he ruffles the boys hair and then lets the boy hug him.

"When can I come with you?" Robbie asks Dean who snorts, Robbie pulls back.

"Not for a long time" Dean answers. "Just look after your mom, okay?" Robbie nods and sits back down as Sam and Logan walk out of the cabin. Sam sets his bag in the trunk and then closes it. He turns and hugs Logan who hugs him back before he turns and climbs into the car, Dean nods and winks at Logan before joining his little brother, Logan sighs watching the impala drive away before she turns to her son.

"You still mad at me?" Logan asks Robbie who shakes his head and stands on the table, so he's face to face with her.

"M'sorry" He offers, she smiles and lifts him up, letting him cling to her as she carries him inside.