Calming The Beast

30.

Logan stands in the centre of Bruce's bedroom, it hasn't really changed since she was last here, a few more books, more clothes, and a couple of blankets on the bed. But she can't focus on that stuff, so she stands there, a nervous wreck, her body just coiled with worry. Bruce closes the door behind her and she closes her eyes. He waits. Patiently for her. She sits on the edge of his bed and rings her hands together, he shifts slightly ahead of her and she closes her eyes before plucking up her courage.

"Robbie...he is your son" she admits to Bruce who takes a shaky breath hearing her say it out aloud.

"I don't...." he pauses and rubs the back of his neck. "When?" he asks.

"I found out about two months after....." she looks down. "After the accident....was feeling terrible for a while but I just put it down to the stress of...everything.....it was Dean, he made some joke about being pregnant and I...I ran out for tests"

"But we were always careful" he comments, she nods.

"Well there was that night" she starts. "Urm...we'd been out with Betty and the others and had a bit to drink" Remembrance and recognition crosses his features, he knows what night she's talking about. They'd not been drunk but buzzed and horny and well....they'd made a stop at Central Park and had sex on the grass under the moon and there was no protection involved at all.

"Oh" he whispers.

"I know we talked a lot about our future before....." she fiddles with her necklace, touching her engagement ring. "You were always unsure about children because....you didn't want to turn out like your own father....but you told me..."

"I felt like I could do it as long as I was with you" he finishes, she rubs a hand over her eye to stop herself from crying. "Logan..."

"I did think about an abortion" she admits keeping her eyes on her hands. "But in the end I couldn't just....get rid of him" she looks to Bruce. "He was all I had left" Bruce moves to sit on the bed with her.

"Your dad? You always said he was hard on you...." he asks her. "How did he...."

"He yelled....a lot, then didn't talk to me for...." she looks down and sighs. "It wasn't till after Robbie was born, after he took him away that he spoke to me again" Bruce looks to her and frowns.

"Took him away?" she closes her eyes. "Logan" he pushes for an answer.

"I was alone in the hospital when I gave birth to Robbie, my brothers were off on a hunt" she admits. "So I was surprised when my dad showed up....and I thought maybe he'd come around, maybe he could be happy for me but he just picked up Robbie and walked out, he didn't come back"

"Logan" Bruce whispers wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "You have him now" he reminds her, she nods.

"My dad died 8 months after that...." Logan tells him. "And the first thing I did was find Robbie and I took him back" she turns to him and sighs. "I wanted to tell you last year....But I was afraid" she admits.

"Of me" he whispers.

"No" she argues quickly, he looks to her. "I'm not afraid of you, Bruce" she assures him.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" he asks her.

"I was afraid of loosing him" she admits. "And I couldn't tell how you would react to him" she states. "I didn't want you to hate me...." she whispers. "To hate him"

"I could never hate you" he assures her softly reaching for her hand.

"And it was nice" she admits. "Just you and me for a while.....seeing you after all those years I just panicked....kept quiet" she sniffles. "I was selfish and I'm sorry, I really am"

"It's okay" he whispers squeezing her hand in his. "I'm not mad at you" he assures her pulling her closer to his side. "I know now" he points out, she nods and looks down. "And I know things haven't been....." he brushes her hair over her shoulder. "Easy...." she looks to him. "I'm sorry too" she frowns. "For everything that happened, for not being there for you, for both of you" he shakes his head. "I would have been" he assures her. "If...if we were just..."

"Normal?" she asks him, he lets out a breath and nods. They both remain quiet for a moment, Bruce processing the news that he actually has a son. A flesh and blood son not biologically twisted by him. A son that seems perfectly healthy and safe. He looks to Logan who has her head down, her eyes on her hands. Bruce kisses her head and pulls her closer to him, she sniffles and curls into his side, seeking his comfort.

"Can I?" Bruce asks. "Can I see him?"

"He's your son, Bruce, I'm not going to stop you" she assures him pulling her sleeve down her arms.

"What's he like?" he asks her quietly. She smiles a little.

"Like you" she answers, she lifts her head to look at him. "And like Dean....smart mind and a smart mouth" she stands and gives him a small smile. "He's kind, thinks he's hilarious" Bruce smirks a little. "Brave....more understanding then I deserve" she opens the door to the room and starts to leave, Bruce takes her arm to stop her, his eyes nervous, he has no idea how his own kid is going to feel about him

"Does he know who I am?" Bruce asks her, she nods.

"I've never lied to him" she admits. "But I've not always told him everything" she adds. "I told him I'd tell him everything when he was older and he could understand......" she brushes her hands through her hair. "Last Christmas, just after everything that happened with Loki....I gave him my Bruce box to look through"

"Your Bruce box?" he asks her.

"Everything I saved from our relationship" she answers, he looks to her surprised. "Photos, notes, our letters....."

"You kept that stuff?" he asks her softly, she nods.

"You meant everything to me" she whispers. "Of course I kept it" he lifts her chin.

"Oh Logan" he whispers back with a smile on his face. She gives him a soft smile back, he cups her cheek, brushing his thumb across her flesh. "What am I going to do with you?" he asks her quietly, fondness lacing his tone. He leans closer to her and brushes his lips over hers before he pulls away again. "So out there...he knew who I was?" she nods.

"He knows you didn't know" she assures him. "He wasn't expecting anything....it's not like the lack of reaction was hurtful"

"Still feel bad" he argues with her brushing his thumbs down her arms. "I can't believe you did this alone" he whispers. "You were practically still a kid yourself"

"I was 22" she argues. "It wasn't that bad" she offers. "I mean...I got on with it" he smiles sadly at her. "And I can't....I can't bring myself to hate any of it" she admits looking to him. "He's perfect" she tells Bruce. He smiles at her, all warm and loving and he can see in her in that moment the woman he fell in love with. She raises an eyebrow. "Ready?" she asks him, he shakes his head and gives her a small smile.

"Not even remotely" he admits pressing his forehead to hers.