Calming The Beast

23.

Logan sits on her bed looking out over the trees, the leaves turning to browns and reds with the roll of fall. November already. 3 months since she left New York. 3 months since she last saw Bruce. 3 long months, months of leviathans, months of no Cas, of Sam making stupid decisions to marry Becky. And every single day she feels that old grief surfacing, the ache in her chest without him. It floored her for weeks after she first left him. And now it's coming back. But this time she can't afford to let it. She has Robbie to think about. She takes a breath. And today is Robbie's 7th birthday. She turns to look at him, sleeping next to her. Peaceful. She hates to wake him. Not yet. She stands and climbs out of the bed leaving him to sleep just a little longer.

..............

Logan crouches next to the bed a little while later, she wears a birthday hat on her head and smiles as she brushes Robbie's hair back from his face, leaning closer she kisses his forehead before pulling back.

"Robbie" she coos trying to wake him. "Wake up" he shifts and blinks as he does just that. "Happy birthday, baby" Logan whispers to Robbie who smiles as he realises. He turns to look at her, the soft smile on her lips he can't help but smile back at her. "I made waffles, just the way you like them"

"Green?" he asks, she nods.

"With purple sprinkles. And candied bacon" Logan assures him. "You're so weird, kiddo" she teases poking him nose, he chuckles. "Present" she sing songs grabbing a box from behind the table beside her, neatly tucked away, hidden from him.

"But my gun..." he offers, she nods.

"Of course, but I'm your mother, I can get you more then one gift" she holds out the box to him, Robbie sits up to take it from her. Pulling off the crude wrapping paper (it's not Logan's strongest skill), he shoves the paper aside to pull of the lid. A handheld games console with games. It's something way too expensive. He lifts his eyes to hers.

"How..." he starts, she shrugs.

"Only the best for my boy" she answers and closes the lid on the box again. "You can play with it later, your Uncles are in the next room waiting for you" Robbie stands from the bed as Logan grabs her jacket from the side, her hands digging into her jacket, her fingers brushing against a stolen credit card, Stark's name stamped across it, so what, she stole it from him before she left the tower, she didn't think he would notice a few dollars here and there. Robbie yawns and looks to Logan who sets a birthday hat on his head, a bit bigger then hers. She smirks and chuckles a little.

"Does it look stupid?" Robbie asks, she shakes her head and smiles.

"Suits you" she answers adjusting it slightly before leaning back. She smiles warmly at him, Robbie moves first heading into the next room, Logan behind him.

"Happy Birthday, little man" Dean pulls the popper in his hand as Sam blows on the birthday hooter, Robbie rubs at his eyes as Logan pushes him softly into the room. The boy smiles seeing his Uncles in matching party hats. Logan smiles and touches Robbie's cheek softly. It's the one even they never fail to celebrate. Robbie's birthday. The three of them know what it was like growing up and never really doing the birthday thing and it sucked, so they do it, every year without fail for her kid, even if it's only two of them, or one of them, they always do it.

..............

As suddenly as it came it went. Robbie's birthday over and done with and the next thing they know Logan is decorating the cabin in Christmas decorations, November has changed to December. There is a tree, decorated, music playing, presents scattered around the bottom of it. It's the most Christmas they've gone for years, and even the smell of cooked turkey fills the small cabin pulling Dean from his sleep. He rubs his eyes walking into the main room and heads to where Logan stands at the cooker. A complete Christmas spread on the table, bags of snacks in the cupboards, beers and soda in the fridge. Dean frowns a little and takes a beer. He frowns looking around.

"Where did you get all this?" Dean asks opening the festive beer in his hand. "How did you afford it?" she shrugs and turns away from him.

"I managed" she answers setting the cooked turkey on the counter.

"Logan" Dean warns stepping closer to her, she sighs and looks to him.

"I stole Stark's credit card" she admits, Dean smirks and then starts laughing.

"How long?" he asks. "How long have you had it?"

"Since we left New York" she answers.

"Are you kidding? You've been keeping this from us?"

"I don't go crazy with it" she argues. "I just...you know.." she glances to Robbie sat on the sofa watching Santa Buddies. "I just want him to be happy...."

"Low" Dean whispers softly. "Things don't make people happy" he argues.

"Well it doesn't hurt" she counters. "You're telling me that growing up, our life wouldn't have been better with more food, school supplies, better clothing?" she asks Dean who nods a little.

"Fair enough, but you know, you don't have to buy him stuff to be a good mother"

"I know" Logan counters. "Just feel bad when I can't....so whilst I have this card and before he figure out that I stole it, I'm gonna make sure he's looked after" Dean kisses her head and holds out the beer.

"This tastes like candy" he points out, she snorts.

"Yeah, it's candy cane beer" she turns the bottle to him and taps the label.

...........

The gifts were a bunch of little things, clothes, his own duffel bag (he wanted to be like Dean), a cell phone (So he can get in touch with them if he needs them), nothing huge, she didn't want to over do it on Stark's card just in case he noticed. Robbie got Dean a charm to hang in the Impala and Sam a new edition of his favourite book which was lost in Bobby's house fire. They in turn pretty much just got the kid candy and movies. Robbie loves it, which is all that matters. Even with the world ending around them, inside the cabin is them only. There are no Leviathans. No danger. Just him and his family. Robbie glances to his mother who smiles sat with Sam, the two of them chuckling away as Dean snores, napping in a turkey coma. Robbie smiles. He often thinks about what his life would be like if his father was involved in it but seeing his mother, and his uncles like this....he doesn't feel like he missed anything. Does he want to know and meet his father? Of course he does. But if it never happens, he hasn't missed out on anything.  

A/N - I KNOW I HAVE UPDATED THIS A FEW TIMES RECENTLY BUT AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WITH WATTPAD I FELT A LITTLE....LET DOWN AND UPSET, WRITING LOGAN, BRUCE AND ROBBIE MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, SO I AM GOING TO KEEP WRITING LOGAN, BRUCE AND ROBBIE UNTIL I FEEL WELL ENOUGH TO WRITE MY OTHER STUFF.