Play Time (Anti x Reader)

I Don't Want to Die

Tinkering with the covering that surrounded the window, you managed to somehow peel off the first layer of plastic but the metal screws that held the glass in place was showing up to be more than a challenge for your unkempt nails.

Instead you started to focus on the actual lock of the window, sure you could just smash the glass but that would be way too loud and you would give yourself away almost instantly. You had found a small hair clip and proceeded to make light work of the lock. All those hours spent watching Supernatural were finally paying off.

Inside your head was a screaming match with only one competitor, you could hear every malicious thought that came to Anti's mind, some of which left you shocked to the spot - momentarily paralysed with disgust before continuing with your work.

You could tell that Anti was being cautious of his thoughts, they phased in and out, like listening to music in the bath and losing sense of the words when your head was delicately dunked under the water. You could hear what he was saying but the words would not form, sentences would disappear and leave you questioning what they were arguing about.

You knew better than to intervene, but after hearing your name multiple times - both out loud and in your head - you couldn't help but become curious. 

But the arguing was good. Anti's murderous thoughts gave you a sense of comfort, knowing that while he was so fuelled with anger, he was not focusing on you and what you were doing.

Feeling a click vibrate through the metal of the hair clip, you smiled to yourself and slowly pushed down the button to unlock the window. This seemed almost too easy, you knew better than to give in to the temptation of a simple escape. You replaced the plastic covering and sat patiently by the window.

Minutes went by and Anti's screaming never ceased. Could it be possible that this was your one and only chance? Every moment that went by that Anti didn't burst through the door and threaten your life for trying to escape was agony. You tried not to mentally scorn yourself for wasting time, knowing that if you did, he would certainly hear it.

Using your previous tactic, you started to hum your favourite song, keeping the lyrics clear in your mind as you allowed them to mingle in with the psychopathic screeching that was Anti's thoughts. It made a humorous remix.

  Your body began to work on it's own, hoisting yourself to straddle the window and peer over the edge, Sean's flat was high up. It must have been the 6th or 7th floor, it had been so long that you couldn't remember anymore.

With the sunlight boring down onto your malnourished skin you spotted a fire escape just a few metre's away from you, it was within reach, if you were strong enough. 

Swinging your other leg over the window pane and placing your feet flat against the incline of the wall you took in a deep breathe, you couldn't believe that you were finally going to be free. This leap could mean your escape, or your death - although, both smelled like freedom to you now.

Taking a moment to look up at the beautiful blue sky, a tear started to form in your water line, it was perfect. It felt like months since you were able to feel the breeze on your skin, all those years spent taking it for granted, sometimes even scolding it if it was too strong - but now... now there was nothing you wished for more.

You let the cleanliness of, what felt like, the morning air flow through your nostrils and down your throat. Within these few seconds you felt more alive than you could ever remember, more alive than when you were a child playing in the show, more alive than your first roller coaster, your first kiss. It felt as though you had been literally born again.

You didn't want to die anymore.

Weeks prior you had welcomed the thought, even hoped for it, anything to be free of that demon. But now you regret every time you'd encouraged it, the phrase 'be careful what you wish for' came across your thoughts. You prayed that your previous tendencies wouldn't catch up to you now.

You braced yourself and kicked off of the wall with your feet, pushing your hands against the window frame to give yourself just that extra bit of velocity. 

You felt alive, you wanted to live, there were so many things you wanted to experience. 

Catching a glimpse of the ground beneath you, caught in a blur, a spark of panic hit you as the fire escape came closer and close to your outstretched hand.

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