The Amazing Adventures of a Socially Awkward Overthinker

Can't sleep...again.

I still can't sleep. Haven't really been sleeping in about a week or so. Don't get me wrong, I sleep...but only for about three hours.

When I do sleep, I keep having these dreams. I'm the type of person who ends up controlling their dreams by the end, the type of person who remembers dreams very vividly. I'm having to spend some time figuring out what was a dream, and what actually happened to me. So i've grown afraid of dreaming. I'm afraid of the confusion that follows, the false hopes that ensue.

I just want to let go of all these fears. I want things to fall into place. I want things to just magically fix themselves rightnow.

But that's not going to happen, is it? Nope. That's not how things work. As I've been telling myself for the past week or so, these things take time. I have no problem being patient for the most part. There's just those annoying times like these in which I kind of lose it.

Everything will be alright in the end.

Things are taking a step forward, at least on my part.

Things are getting better.

With every 60 seconds, I have to wait one minute less.

And while I'm waiting for things to click, while I'm waiting for that wonderful moment, that moment I dream about, think about, pray about...I'll try my best to enjoy this moment. Right now. And maybe, when I'm not dreaming, thinking, and praying, when I'm sort of happy on my own...maybe that moment will happen.

and I'm so tired. so very tired. I'm not really sure what I'm typing anyway. and I probably shouldn't be listening to So Close or When I'm Gone...but I can't stop listening to those songs.

Maybe some Steam Powered Giraffe will make me feel better. Or Queen...or both.

both. definitely both.