School and food

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so, I'm sure some of you will be able to relate to this one.

I can't eat lunch at school...well, not by myself anyway. I don't know why, I just hate waiting in line, because everyone eating tends to look at you and I really don't like attention. See, barely anyone I know actually goes and eats the school lunches, so I'm forced to find someone I kinda know, or am sort of friends with and sit with them. However, half of the time they have closer friends of their own. Of course, I end up sitting there and not talking to anyone, forcing myself to eat food that isn't really all that great.

In fact, sometimes I get so anxious I can't even eat. I can't keep anything in my mouth for more than a few seconds...and then I start worrying that I'll throw up and people will see that, and then everyone will be looking at me and oh gosh how I hate attention...

It's not just at school either, I don't like eating in public. Restaurants scare me sometimes...especially those whose employees tend to interact with the people eating. I'm also terrified of seeing someone I know. So, if anyone I know works at a restaurant...well...don't expect a visit.

Then there's another thing at school. I hate when teachers make eye contact with me. It's such a terrifying thing, because I don't know if it's actually me they're looking at, or if they're looking at me because I'm doing something wrong. I also can't stand sitting in the front of class. Everyone can see me and then I get called on more.

Can't I just sit in the back and be happy? I still pay attention. I actually focus better when I multi task. I need the extra distractions, to keep me from my...interesting thoughts. Interpret that in any way you see fit, whatever you guess, it's probably right.

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