𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 • 𝐉𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐈𝐄

3.40

mackenzie was sobbing on johnny's dirt gravel driveway. she couldn't stop. she was willing herself to just get up and drive away, to stop being so pathetic- but she couldn't help it.

how can you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul?

it started raining; drizzling at first, but then really pouring. the weather felt like her mood. she didn't care. she was numb. she hardly even registered the water mingling with her tears.

as mackenzie cried, she sorted through their memories together.

the party at which they met. the kiss they shared, when he gave her her first hickeys. clubbing for nadia's birthday, and when she realised she'd kissed johnny and they'd smiled at each other. going to his house, and watching a movie, then cuddling with the cuddle virgin. skinny dipping in the dark, when she got emotional. the way he pleasured her after they got out of the pool. the meme war. the 11:11 goodnight texts. the very explicit texting conversations they had numerous times. their first date, in which they went skating and she accidentally grabbed his dick. him meeting her to sneak out of her house, and then how he made her orgasm by touching her under the blanket. christmas shopping, and how they fooled around in the changing rooms after she met avery. talking about avery, and exchanging their first i love yous. sneaking him over that very night, where he ate her out, and then quickly disappeared as her mom got home. him teasing her in spanish, and then planning their bowling date. when she almost lost her virginity in the bathroom but johnny stopped so it could be special. for the next two weeks, hardly even kissing him, and instead finding the time to get to know him, and learning about him. his cuddles, in which his strong arms wrapped around her and made her feel marginally less lonely. him telling her she's a good person, and then her inviting him round for sex. making love three times, so hard it hurt to walk and move the next day for the both of them. the scratches she left. the hickeys he left. the boring ass movie, then mind-blowingly good sex in the car afterwards.

then.

the fight.

mackenzie cried harder, but picked herself off the ground and got into her car. she knew she wouldn't get over him for a very, very long time, because life with johnny was a thousand times better than without.

before johnny, mackenzie had never experienced real love. she was eighteen, and had never told someone she loved them. she was a virgin that had barely even been kissed. she was a geek that spent all of her time alone, hoping for that perfect guy, but only imagining him in her distant future. she never thought she'd be so lucky to experience love right after graduating high school.

she kept sobbing.

she needed her mom. she needed maddie. there's no way she could talk to johnny right now. no. she needed family.

tears blurred her vision as she backed out of johnny's driveway. she knew she wasn't going to give up on him without a fight, but currently, they were both a mess.

she slammed her hand on the radio, needing something- anything- to drown out her tears. Need you now by Lady Antebellum crooned out through the speakers, and it only made her cry louder.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,
For me it happens all the time,

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now,
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now,
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

mackenzie screamed out in frustration, pulling out onto the main road as she continued to drive. she pushed her hand down on the radio again, switching the song again. Changes by XXXTentacion was playing on another radio station.

Mmm, baby, I don't understand this,
You're changing, I can't stand it,
My heart can't take this damage,
And the way I feel, can't stand it

mackenzie sobbed, shoulders shaking and stomach churning, giving up on radio all together. her vision was so blurred she didn't see the red light, and assumed it was green.

the truck came at her all at once, looking like it was going to collide with her car. she slammed her foot down on the break, screaming in terror. her wet feet slipped off the breaks, but she managed to stomp both feet down. the back wheels of her car spun out and her car swung around in a wide arc, but she managed to stop inches from the truck heading through the intersection.

she sat for a few seconds before she shut off her car and put her head in her hands. she wasn't even making any noise anymore, but her shoulders were shaking up and down. she felt like she was going to be sick.

there came a knock on her window. she looked out and saw with a surprise that the truck driver left his vehicle idling in the middle of the intersection. they were the only people out here at this time of night.

mackenzie opened her door, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"are you okay? i'm so sorry, i didn't see you coming!" a middle aged man told her, his expression terrified.

mackenzie started crying again. physically, yes, she was okay, but inside she was drowning in sadness. "i'm fine." her voice cracked.

he looked her up and down. the expression he was wearing reminded her of her fathers, and it set her off again. he was genuinely concerned at her tears.

"oh honey." he held his arms out, and too tired to protest, mackenzie got out of her car and collapsed into them. she just couldn't stop crying. she didn't even have the energy to care that this was a stranger. "you don't look fine." he then said.

mackenzie pulled away from him. "i- i just lost someone that was- is, really important to me." she wiped her eyes. "i shouldn't be driving. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry."

he watched her with eyes just as sad as her own. "no, i'm sorry. i'm sorry for your loss."

mackenzie nodded in thank you.

"do you live close?" he asked her at the same time as he surveyed her car for damage.

"it's about a twenty minute drive." she said, voice strangled.

"alright." he sighed, rubbing the stubble on his chin. "do you need a phone to call a parent? i have my cell in my truck."

mackenzie nodded. "yes please." she hadn't bothered to bring her own.

he disappeared and then was back, pressing a black iphone into her hand. she smiled barely in thank you, dialling a number that was just as familiar as her own.

"mom?" she asked. she was crying again, eyes stinging and throat burning.

"yeah, hi. i- i need you to come and get me."

AUTHORS NOTE

i hope i made you cry :)