Chubs | KSJ

At This Point, All This Book is are Announcements

The camera fades into a plain white room, only a large black swivel chair rested in the middle to fill the vast space. In the corner is Taehyung in a tuxedo calmly standing with his saxophone, looking professional. Mozart who? He bows to the camera. Then raises the instrument to his lips, harshly blowing out a crude tune. The sound is somewhere between an old man with a lisp and a blow horn. Absolutely beautiful.

The chair swivels around to reveal the one and only Kim Seokjin with large white circle sunglasses, tuxedo, and a hand to his chin, looking like a whole midnight indulgence.

"Welcome children, "He says with a smooth, sultry voice. " my dear offspring of crack addicts and desperation for love, how are you?"

He flashes a smile to the camera. Then whips his hands out to the side, giving a small sharp clap. From the other side comes Namjoon wheeling out a large whiteboard also dressed in a tuxedo. The old wheels make screeching cries over Taehyung's music as it is brought over to Jin. He leans back in his chair while dramatically removing his sunglasses, making sure to twirl his hand as it approaches his face to show off the massive rings stacked on each finger.

"It seems," Jin says, looking at the camera with confidence. "The world has finally recognized my talent."

He flicks his hand to Namjoon who flips over the whiteboard revealing a large graph made in colorful markers.

"As you can see here, Chubs has recently sky rocketed in views and favorites, reaching an unfathomable 10K views." Jin states as Namjoon uses the pointer stick to follow the line on the chart that spikes up so far that the line goes off the board.

"And I think we all know why" Jin whispers to the camera, winking at the viewers.

From behind the camera, Momo coughs, raising a daring brow at her power-happy boyfriend. Jin presses his lips together, looking away from the camera with shaky eyes. Now that Momo was thiCC with muscle, Jin was very VERY afraid. " BECAUSE OF MOMO! OF COURSE!!" Jin laughs, Looking at Momo with pleading eyes. "Because she's so sexy and funny and overall amazing, am I right?"

"awwwwww" Hoseok cooes from his spot next to Jimin on the floor, patiently waiting for his time to come in.

Momo nods in approval, satisfied in his answer.

"We also have to thank Taehyung of course, for being a sneaky b*tch and low key making sure me and Momo became a thing, Namjoon for educating us unintelligent swine,"

"You're welcome thots" Namjoon nods.

Jin continues "- Jungkook for being a relatable edgy weeb-"

"F*ck you" Jungkook yells from behind the camera, further proving his edginess.

"No thanks, I'd rather do that with Momo" Jin replies casually, unbothered.

"JIN!!" Momo scolds, her face turning red.

"Nice one." Namjoon chuckles like a perv twelve year old from Jin's comment.

"This is a family show!!!!" Momo mutters in her last attempt for innocence.

Yoongi rolls his eyes from the corner near Jungkook. " Family show my *ss." he puffs.

"haha, I know right. Like so lame. haha, like- 'kids under 16, don't watch this show' hahaha " Jungkook awkwardly says, holding out his fist to Yoongi for a fist bump like a nerdy little kid trying to a part of the cool kids club.

Yoongi looks at it with disgust and walks away, sitting next to Jimin and Hoseok instead.

Taehyung sputters out a loud, out of tune note, coming to a sudden stop and gasping for breath. He puts down the saxophone and holds his head, dizzy from lack of oxygen.

"Okay Tae- you're done, please do not faint," Momo commands in motherly concern, rushing over to him to guide him to chair.

"Look at that, not even a minute in and this is already a burning piece of sh*t headed straight into chaos. " Yoongi mutters, observing the scene around him, slowly falling apart.

Hoseok hands Tae a water bottle and fans him as he drinks from it. Jungkook watches the three jealously, pushing his tongue into his cheek as he thinks.

"Oh no-" He says, slowly pretending to fall to the ground "Momo, I think I'm fainting." he stares at her, crying for her to give him attention.

Momo glances up at him, tearing her attention from Taehyung for a split second. She grabs another waterbottle "Here." she states tonelessly, chucking it at him. The bottle hits Jungkook in the stomach, making him groan in pain on the floor.

Yoongi chuckles, amused by the violence. He taught Momo well.

"Anyway-" Jin says, turning his head back to the camera "Hoseok for always being a sunshine and keeping our rating pure, Yoongi for being that blunt b*tch we all wish we were and Jimin for-" Jin stops, frowning "Actually, what did you even contribute to this show Jimin?" Jin asks, genuinely at a loss.

Jimin holds a hand to his heart, hurt. "I-" He stops, looking off to the side to think about the question.

"HE'S HOT AS FRICK AND A WHOLE BABY BOY CULTURE" Hoseok yells, supporting his friend. Jimin shoots him a couple finger hearts.

Momo furrows her brows in obvious disagreement " If anyone is baby boy culture, its Taehyung." She says with a smile, squishing Tae's cheeks who giggles with a big boxy grin.

Jin squints at them. "hey." He calls at them "Stop it." He gets up and walks over to two, ripping Momos hands away from Tae's fluffy cheeks with a huff. He stands in between the two, turning around in a glare at Tae. Then He turns back to pout at Momo "I can be cute too!!" He whines, poking his cheek to prove his adorableness.

Momo smiles at him, leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose. "Yes, of course you are. Now, go back to your chair, you're doing a great job out there sweetie." She encourages the baby, lightly pushing him back to the set to continue filming what was supposed to be a thirty-second video.

"Well that was disturbing to watch" Yoongi mutters.

Jin, giddy from Momo's love and encouragement, happily heads back to his chair, sliding into the black cushioned seat. "Most of all" Jin continues with the purpose of the video, signaling to Namjoon to flip to the other side of the whiteboard, filled with hearts and stars and glitter. Hoseok and Jimin smile upon seeing their masterpiece. "We have to thank you guys for loving on this book." Namjoon throws a handful of petals over Jin as he blows a kiss to the camera "we love you." he whispers

An emotional ballad begins to play in the background as Jin closes his eyes and faces the sky. Jimin summersaults into the camera view and strikes a pose as Tae, Momo, and Hobi walk arm in arm over to Namjoon, swaying back and forth. Yoongi sighs as he gets up, walking back to drag a salty Jungkook over to the set for the ending.

Everyone wraps their arms around each other around Jungkook's dead body, swaying with the music as they shout out their love for the viewers who gave them so much happiness and support.

"Now, as a special treat, " Namjoon continues "we will be releasing some ending interviews with the cast all about our experience with Chubs, some bloopers and some deleted footage!"

"So please look forward to that and stay tuned to this far too drawn out series!!" Momo calls, waving goodbye to the viewers.

A heavenly light shines down from the heavens and a pearlescent staircase ascends below. A choir of angels sing as Auther-nim, in her full glory dressed in flowing white and gold fabric, walks down the steps to the world of the peasants. She smiles, holding out her hands to stop the choir.

"Thanks ma doodes." She ends, throwing up a peace sign.