Elastic Heart

470 17 10
                                    

Trigger Warning: Eating disorder, talk of suicide

Ryleigh
I was afraid. Dallon knew now about the voice torturing my every waking second. I wasn't sure what would happen now. It was also such a sweet relief because my thick skin was starting to crack and those words were filling every damned space.

I didn't want to let it win. Eventually, Dallon helped me up and settled me on the couch with If I Stay playing on the TV. He returned to my room to clean up the mess I made. I instantly felt bad just thinking about it. I remembered then that I was leaving to stay with Tyler and Josh today. I'd stay with them the longest since Christmas was rapidly approaching.

We'd missed Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving because of the accident putting us in the hospital. I couldn't believe it was already Christmas. I missed mom and dad. I loved our band family and friends, but it wasn't the same as staying in my house with Mom, Dad, Penny, and Bogart.

I must've drifted off to sleep because I woke with a start around 10. Tyler's voice rang loud and clear as he chased Amelie and Knox around the house. He ran by the couch. "Oh, hey, Ry,"he said. "Hi,"I said and pushed myself up on my elbows.

Tyler put a hand up as both Amelie and Knox appeared behind him. He bent over and pretended to catch his breath. "Give---me---a---moment,"Tyler breathed dramatically with his hands on his knees. He turned quickly and picked both Amelie and Knox up. "To the kitchen,"he battle yelled as Breezy called them to breakfast. He returned to my side.

"How are you holding up?"he asked as he flopped down on the end of the couch. I shrugged. "Fair,"he replied and glanced at his phone. I wondered if Dallon had told them already. Oh well. "I'm going to change,"I said and grabbed my crutches. Dallon had sat my duffle bag on the bed. I found one of his sweatshirts and threw it on over one of dad's black t-shirts. I also wore black sweatpants and a flip flop.

I zipped it and called for Tyler. He picked it up and I walked out to the door. Dallon attempted to stifle as yawn as he came downstairs and hugged me tightly before I left with Tyler.

Dallon
I heard Ryleigh yelling from downstairs and went running. She wasn't in bed but the light shone underneath the bathroom door. Bingo. I tried the handle but it was locked. "Ryleigh, it's me. Can you let me in?"I asked but I don't think she heard me at all. "Ryleigh, are you okay? I heard yelling, it's two in the morning,"I tried again. I began my search for the key. I worried over what I would find once I entered. When I finally entered, I saw her curled on the floor. There was a mess around her and that's when I saw the blades. Oh, please, no. I hoped she hasn't cut.

Relapsing now would be bad. Very, very bad. She knew instantly and assured me she didn't cut. She even showed me her wrists. I sighed in relief. They had the old scars but nothing new. We sat there for forever. She let me in and told me about the voice in her head. It worried me. I didn't want it to break her. We've come too far for that.

Eventually, I settled her on the couch with a movie. I went back to clean up and while I was there I went through her bag. I didn't find any other blades. Her phone buzzed and, while I felt bad for invading her privacy, I had to look. She had a message from an unknown number.

Unknown: "I hope you die. You don't deserve the life you're living and every one will be so much better off. Please do us that favor."

I almost cried as I read that. How could anyone be so cruel? Especially to someone so young. I tucked her phone back into her bag where I found it so she wouldn't know. I walked out to find her asleep so I pulled a quilt over her and returned to bed. I slept in and, apparently, so did Ryleigh. Tyler showed up early and entertained my children which I appreciated. I woke up in enough time to hug Ryleigh tightly before she left.

My face grew into one of concern as, beneath that large sweatshirt of mine, I felt her ribs and bones poking through. I prayed that was I wrong. Just as quickly, they were gone.

Ryleigh
I wasn't sure what was wrong. Dallon didn't let me go for a long time, not that I minded. Tyler remained oddly quiet and seemed concerned all of a sudden. He led me to a spare bedroom downstairs so I didn't have to climb stairs. He left me to get settled and I went into the bathroom. There was a body length mirror behind the door. I carefully turned the lock.

I pulled up my shirt and the sweatshirt. I stared in the mirror at the skeleton I was becoming. My bones were all poking through. I hadn't eaten hardly at all these last few weeks. They couldn't make me and I lied fairly well. It made me feel guilty sure, but for once I wanted to fit in with the girls at school. The popular ones who were skinny and perfect.

Jenna appeared with a knock at the door. "I made lunch,"she said. I let the shirt fall back down and crutched out to the kitchen. I sat on a barstool as she placed a delicately dressed turkey sandwich in front of me. It looked good, Jenna was an amazing cook. Just seeing the food, though, made me feel nauseous.

I shoved down every bite then claimed I was taking a nap. I found another toothbrush and shoved it back hard until the food came back up. I rinsed my mouth and flushed the toliet. "Ryleigh, are you okay?"Tyler asked. "Fine, why?"I replied anxiously. How long had he been standing there? Did he know my secret? Shit, I hope not.

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