Life Of The Party

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Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder

Ryleigh
I felt bad about everything. I was on a downward spiral that I wasn't sure I could recover from. I fell asleep on Gerard's shoulder while watching movies. My stomach hurt terribly and it took all of my strength not to puke it back up before Pete brought the medicine. It helped me not feel as sick and made me sleep.

Tyler carried me to bed and then I was alone. I slept for a few hours. I felt worse when I woke up and made an instant beeline for the bathroom. I barely made it before I started to dry heave. I closed the toilet lid and laid my cheek against it. It felt cold against my skin but I welcomed it and felt tears starting to well.

Tyler came stumbling in a few minutes later. He rubbed at his eyes sleepily. "Are you okay?"he asked as he rubbed my back. I closed my eyes and hummed in reply. "C'mon. Up you go,"he said and lifted me bridal style into his arms. He took me to the living room and laid me on the couch. He grabbed me some water and laid next to me.

Home Alone played softly out of the TV speakers. I was having trouble focusing though. Tyler fell asleep so I laid there alone for a really long time staring at the TV. I stood up and walked to my bedroom. I sat on the end of the bed and picked my phone up off the nightstand.

I scrolled through my messages, not bothering to see what time it was.

Ryleigh 💞: I miss you.

I hit send before I even realized what I had done. I glanced at the time. It was after 3 am. I shouldn't have messaged him. He needs rest but I did it anyways. The tears began to fall involuntarily and I hoped that dad knew how much I loved him. If I could I would take his place. I was unimportant while he was important. He was someone, I was no one. I didn't expect a response.

Brendad Urie 💙: I miss you, too. Are you okay?

I didn't respond for a few minutes. I kept changing contact names in my phone. They alternated quite frequently.

Ryleigh 💞: Yeah, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me.

I swiped at the tears on my cheeks.

Brendad Urie 💙: I don't believe you. It's my job to worry, sweetheart. I'm gonna call you.

Ryleigh 💞: You don't need to do that.

Brendad Urie 💙 is calling....connecting...

I debated internally on not answering but I felt bad already. Pushing him away and not answering would've been worse. Dad's face appeared in the camera screen. He had FaceTimed me.

"What's wrong, darling?"he asked. He looked tired under those hospital fluorescents. I sniffled as a few more tears fell. I shook my head no. I turned my brightness up so he could see me since I could barely be seen with it dimmed. "You can tell me,"he assured me. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the change in light.

"I just really miss you and mom. Don't get me wrong, I love them all. It's just Christmas time and I haven't gotten to be around you since the accident,"I said and looked away from the screen ashamed with myself. I shouldn't have called, this could stress him out. I avoided mentioning my eating disorder or cutting or how I've wanted to die more than ever. I didn't deserve them.

"Ry, honey, look at me,"dad probed gently. I looked back at the screen. "I miss you, too. I'm hoping they'll bring you by in a couple days. I'll text Tyler. I'll be home before you know it,"he said. I avoided mentioning the nightmares, too. I nodded. He sighed tiredly. "I'm sorry, dad,"I whispered.

"There's no reason to be sorry, you did nothing wrong,"he said and it brought a new round of tears to my eyes. "Don't cry, baby,"he said. I took in a deep breath as a few slipped down my cheeks. "Do me a favor. Climb under the covers and then I'll sing to you,"he said. I nodded and did as he asked.

His voice sounded slightly different but it may have been me or the room he was in. It was still nothing less than absolutely amazing. He sang Impossible Year to me gently and then This Is Gospel. My eyelids started to drift closed. I slept.

Brendon's POV
I was really worried when I received Ryleigh's text around three in the morning. It wasn't like her but then again I couldn't sleep and I couldn't stop thinking of her either. She wouldn't talk to me and I could tell she was keeping secrets but that's something for another day. I started to sing to her.

It had always helped her before and it worked fine now. She started to drift off to sleep. Once I was sure she was asleep, I whispered a goodnight and an 'I love you' before I ended the call and found myself drifting off to sleep, too.

Ryleigh
I woke up and instantly felt bad for calling Dad. The guilt didn't last long because Josh came in and jumped on the bed. "RYLEIGH!"he shouted excitedly over and over. "What?"I groaned as he pulled the curtains open. "GET UP! IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!"he shouted excitedly and jumped on the bed careful to avoid my leg.

I pulled the blanket over my head to shield myself from the brightness and headache I knew would follow. Josh pulled the blanket out of my hands and completely off me. It was cold and I squealed. I carefully jumped up, grabbed my crutches, and went quickly to the kitchen where Jenna was making breakfast.

"Ty, help!"I squealed. "Nope! Sorry, Ry!"he said and I yelped as he picked me up and gently tossed me onto the couch. He and Josh began tickling me. "Stop, stop!"I shouted out of breath. They exchanged a look and stopped. "BREAKFAST!"Jenna yelled and we made a mad dash to the kitchen. I still wasn't all that hungry and made sure to take one of the pills before I sat down to eat with them.

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