Apologetic

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*Tony POV

waking up for school the next day was kinda odd to me. i wasn't prepared at all for it and i just really wanted to climb back in my by bed and just slumber away.

I had already showered and ate my breakfast and was just pulling up to the school.

"bye girl's" mrs.mayson said as we got out the car and closed it.

I waved goodbye and me and Erin departed.

heading to my class I felt a hard pull on my arm which caused me to do a 180.

looking pathetic as ever, Josiah was standing there with a dumb founded look.

"can we talk?" he asked .

"hmmmm let me see, are you capable and sober enough to hold a decent conversation or did you smoked some weed this morning and just felt the high Ness to bring your-" he stops me by kissing me then steps back

"Do it taste like im high? no, so stop babbling and just listen to me for a minute ok?"

still confused by the kiss, I slowly nodded

"I'm sorry....For everything Tonyiah.  I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to...Function right. look I've been hurt by the past  and scared of my future. I felt my feeling's building up for you and I got scared and just ended up shutting it down because the last girl I was truly started to feel this way about,  took advantage of me."

"so you thought I was going to do the same? My father....my own blood father.... beated on me like I was an animal. The one man that suppose be a good male figure in my life,  tortured me cruelly. I've been hurt too but I wouldn't have led you on, take away your possession,  and then all of a sudden when Im scared I disclaim you. Sadly...you did. You can say sorry as much as you want but, I've had enough of people doing me wrong over things that never came to them right. take care Josiah"  I shrugged heading down the hall to my class

********

After school I rode the city bud to the civic center to try this "suicide meeting" again. The last time I was here I felt as if they were forcing me to talk when I just simply wanted to watch.

This time I wanna change that.The first step is admitting so here goes nothing

I walked down the hall I once walked down before and opened the door and went inside the room.

It was nobody there but just the counselor guide.

"Where is everyone. ..?" I asked hesitantly walking over her way.

"class is postponed till Thursday,  I didn't think you would come back Toniyah" she walks over my way and folded her arms.

"yeah about that...I didn't really think that through when I stormed out of here and I've come to realization that I need help and stuff" I explained

"Hmph, that's very positive to hear but you had your chance I'm sorry." she shrugged walking over to grab her keys

the fuck?.....

"what do you mean your sorry, your just going to walk away?" I asked, strutting to her

she sighed "You can't just say sorry abs expect someone to forgive that easily. If you want the help then all you have to do is show me" she says

"But I'm here ain't I?!?!" I snapped .

" your yelling...I don't allow yelling unless I authorize you too" she was really pissing me off.

"You make no sense..." I tell her

"You don't understand what I'm telling you. effort is more about action not about verbal. If you want the help...then show me. Don't just show up when you feel like it, don't wait around for something bad to happen to feel the need to come to me. show me you want it" she speaks"

"Class starts 4:30-6:30 p.m Thursday. I hope to see you there if you are sorry like you say you are" she says and walks out

whatever it takes to get the help.






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yes its short but I had to whip up something really quick cause the amount of updates needed are piled up.

so please excuse this short update, it's all I can really come up with in its time of need for an update

please vote, comment, and fan/follow me

~Corrections in progress

~take care

~xoxo Tyvia

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