now i am [karamel]

nine

mon-el

I still like to thank my lucky stars that I found her there on a seemingly perfectly normal afternoon, lying on the grass, immobilized with fear. God knows what would've happened if I didn't.

I laid her gently down on the sofa in the living room. Or at least I tried to. I could see how much it tired her out but she simply wouldn't let go.

"Kara, everything's going to be fine. Look, I'm here, alright? There's nothing to be afraid of."

Slowly, her grip relaxed. My shirt was crumpled where her fists had clenched into it. I kissed her on the forehead and assured her that I'd be back soon before fetching a blanket and draping it around her shoulders. I took a seat beside her and she immediately sat up from where she was laying to lean into the other side, where my embrace was waiting.

"What happened?" she whispered. "Who did this to me?"

"No one did this to you," I hugged her tighter. "It was just an ordinary panic attack."

"How do you know?"

"When I first got to the 31st century, I lived for a long while in denial. I couldn't believe, I wouldn't believe that you were lost to me. After around a year, I started going hopeless. I lived in despair every day. Panic attacks were inevitable. I know exactly what you're going through."

She looked at me, and I could see in her eyes that she was sorry for causing me those attacks, and she wished she could undo it. Typical Kara, always blaming herself for every bad thing.

"Thank you," she snuggled closer into me.

"For what? I just brought you home, nothing a regular passerby wouldn't have done."

"For sharing that with me. I know it's hard for you to open up about your past."

"It's the least I could do for you. You saved my life, countless times."

"And... these panic attacks, how did you deal with them?"

"Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Remind yourself that everything's going to be okay."

She did so and I watched her, a brilliant light forcefully dimmed by millions of heart-wrenching things she's had to go through. But these things shaped her into the incredible woman she is today, and I could not be more grateful for her. How did I get to be so lucky? I thought as she nuzzled her face into my neck.

Us against the world, and whatever it may bring.