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Poem for my brother
09/13/18
Although we grow
My heart may not quite show
but I'll Always Love You
for once we were two kids
two against the world
it was you and me
then Mom and Dad
nobody came between us
none that I could see
that is until our very own parents
took you away from me
I will always love you brother
despite the fights that make me cry
I'll never give up on you brother
no matter how hard you try
you were the first thing I ever had
and will always be the first
in my head it will always just be us
playing explorers in the dirt

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09/13/18
What's hard to hear
really is what's right
despite the fact that it's what you fight
drop your weapons
surrender your soles
for this is a life
we can't control
not now, not us,
I say just give up

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09/14/18
In winter
children smile
Hearts grow wild
mines are becoming
souls are kind
but not for me
don't get me wrong
I still love winter most
but smile I do not, I Cry
my mind becomes too much
my soul feels lost like it's not mine
the only thing that brings me peace
is the rain and the bells that chime

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09/14/18

He disgusts me
makes me sick
I don't get it
she runs so quick
he hunts and he preys
then he leaves us while we stay
while we were broken
it's what you made
will I ever see a brighter day?
he hurt me
not just me though
he's hurt plenty
like steps of hot tea though
he doesn't care
he never will
I shouldn't either
maybe one day I just won't feel

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09/14/18
They say they got me
that they understand
then why am I the only one burning in this sand?
I hate myself
the people in it
I don't relate
I'm done pretending
I just don't feel it
I'm ready to go
set it up
into the grave I'll go
I can bet you all
 bet a million times
at my funeral
not one person will cry
please just let me die
it hurts
got it fucking hurts
it never ends
and I'm not one who can pretend

For Doctor
I feel like I'm taking a backseat to my own body. Almost like I'm in a chair in a mind, watching everything. Void of emotion. Sounds sound weird and different. I'm scared.

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