I'm not that bad.(Tony Stark x Adoptive Reader)

32

You sat on the couch next to Loki and tried to calm your thoughts. But you couldn't, it was like they were firing off, left and right.
You felt like you were feeling every emotion all at once, but at the same time, none at all. Your head was on fire, along with your heart, which was now beating a mile a minute, which was shown by your reactor, changing from green to a slow, flashing black. You were so far into thought you couldn't even hear Loki, who had been talking to you the entire time.
"Hello?" he asked shaking his hand in front of your non-moving face. Which snapped you out of it.
"It seems as if your new.....heart....is trying to tell you something." Loki said, drawing back his hand and leaning back into his seat.
"Hu?...Oh...yea. It does that."
Was all you managed to say before cursing yourself out in your head.
"What the hell?! Hu? Oh..
You can't even form a Damn sentence without screwing it up."
When you hear Loki start to giggle under his breath, and look at you.
You give his a look which read, What's so funny?
But all Loki could do was continue to stare.
"You honestly don't know?" Loki asked, seeming a bit shocked.
"Know what?" you replied with an emotionless, expression on your face.
"You and I, share a common... 'power'." Loki said, taking a short pause after 'common'.
'Power'? Does he mean, read minds?
You ask yourself, not expecting to receive an answer, but was startled by Loki, replying with, "Indeed. Your not the only one who can have a pure, silent, conversation."
You look at him, trying to empty your head, and shake the recent memory of you and your dads conversation in the hall way.
When Tony walks out from behind the wall, that connects the hall way to the living room, with red puffy eyes, and a face that matches.
It shocked you to see Tony like this. It always made your arm tingle and feel weird, stomach turn, and eye twitch, but you couldn't look away.
Somehow, knowing that you made Tony like this, filled you with self-hate, sadness, and loneliness. Knowing you hurt the only person, who was there for you, cared for you, wanted the best for you and tried his absolute best in being a dad, made you hate yourself even more.
You wanted to get off the couch and run to your dad, hug him and tell him your sorry, but couldn't, you tried to move but failed.
You saw Tony make his way into the kitchen, and then into his lab, but all you could do was sit on the couch and watch.
After a what seemed like minutes go by you shuffled back into your room, not bothering to shut the door, climbed into your bed and covered yourself with your blankets and fell asleep.
When you woke up, you looked at your clock and saw that it was 11 am. You didn't think much of it, thinking back, you saw Tony walk into his lab, and then went to sleep. No big deal. But little did you know, that happened yesterday. The 'minutes' that had passed were actually hours.
You shuffled into some different cloths, not caring what you put on, and slid your feet all the way into the kitchen, where you saw:
Nat, Pepper, Bruce, Steve, Clint, Thor, Loki, Bucky, Peter and even Tony. All eating breakfast. But when you walked in, everyone could tell, something was wrong. You didn't say anything to anyone, all you did was lay on the couch and silently cried a puddle around your face. When everyone was done eating, you heard foot steps walking towards you, but you didn't bother to stop crying.
"Hey kid we need to talk about you attitu--What's wrong?" Steve asked changing his voice from pissed off to caring, getting on one knee to comfort you, followed by Bruce copying the soldier, and then Natasha sitting on the couch rubbing your shoulder.
No one said anything, but you could tell Steve was having a conversation, by using his eyes, trying to signal someone to come over to the couch.
Soon enough, everyone was at the couch, 'shh-ing' you and rubbing your back and shoulders, telling you stuff like 'its going to be ok' or 'your fine, we're here'.  You couldn't take it anymore and finally exploded, yelling out,
"I'm not fine!!...I'm sick, don't you get it?!?! Its to hard! I've been doing this for years, running from my thoughts, keeping quiet, and never letting anyone in!"
There was no expression in your voice, as you continued,
"I've been bruised, stripped away of my innocents, neglected, tortured, beaten 1 tenths of the way from death and saw my own mother get murdered in front of my eyes!!! So go ahead and tell me 'I'm ok'...cause I'm not!"
There were no tears coming out your eyes, you felt as if you had just told your biggest secret ever. But you weren't done there.
*MAJOR TRIGGER*

"I want to die. I want to be taken from here, and make everyone's life easier....including my own."

*END OF TRIGGER*

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. His little girl, was feeling all this pain, and sadness, and all he did was tell her to repress her feelings.
The entire team, including Bucky, Loki, Pepper and Peter all had tears pouring down their face, as Tony held you in a hug while saying in a shaky voice,"I'm so sorry baby girl. I'm so so sorry."
You hugged Tony back as the everyone else joined in the group hug, "I didn't mean for this happen. Im so sorry. I shouldn't have told you that." Tony continued with more tears coming out of his eyes.
"You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I don't know what I would do, if you were taken away from me. I love you so much. I'm always here for you."
Everyone in the room was crying at this point, and trying to hug you tighter, if it was even possible.
"Please promise me something, promise me, you will tell me when you are feeling like this....please?" Tony asked, wanting you desperately to respond. When you looked at Tony with glossed over (e/c) coloured eyes and said,

"I promise dad. I love you."

*A/N
What cha think so far?
I personally am loving these chapters. To me, they give a 'real scenario' to the story.