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i drop the heavy bag of my medical supplies onto the couch where roger sat, waiting.
"honey. can we talk now?"
i look at him, then turn my attention back to the bag of medical supplies that i needed to organize. i unzip the bag and sigh, rummaging through the contents and throwing the stethoscope around my neck.
"what, roger? domonique busy for the day?"
"stop. i'm sorry, alright?"
"do you even still love me? is this why you went two weeks without calling? is this why you spent two weeks avoiding me whenever i called? is she why?"
he pauses, glancing up at me from where he was sitting.
"you just...you were never around."
my eyebrows furrow in confusion and i turn to face roger.
"what exactly is that supposed to mean?"
"it means...it means that i messed up babe. but you weren't here. and whenever you did call, it wasn't for very long. you just got so busy and it felt like i was alone and-"
"roger...what did you do?"
"just know that it wasn't her fault, she didn't know you even existed and the guys only didn't tell you because they thought it was my responsibility to tell you and they're right. but it's not her fault. it was only one night and she didn't do anything wrong and-"
at this point, i'd stopped listening. i'd stopped moving. it felt as thought the world had stopped spinning. i wasn't even sure if i was breathing anymore.
"-it was all me, don't blame the guys or domonique. i just...baby i'm sorry."
"you're defending her."
"huh?"
"it's cute. the way you're taking all the blame. the way you're sticking up for her."
"don't do that."
"in that whole bit of yours, you never once said that it didn't mean anything. and most of the time it was you trying to stick up for her. do you love her?"
"goldie i-"
"don't call me that."
"h-honey please."
i look down at my hands, my finger nervously fumbling with the small flashlight in between my fingers. i chuckle sadly, picking up the bag and putting it onto the table, turning away from him.
"you're in love. and that's okay. i can't get mad at you for that."
"i love you."
"you might love me. but you're not in love with me. you're in love with her though."
