Irondad: Redeemed

The funeral

**Swearing and sad thoughts**

Peter's POV

It happened so fast. Too fast and to make it worst it was raining. Aunt May's Funeral. I didn't want to go but I had to, but it hurt to watch them lower the casket into the ground as the priest read words that I wasn't even listening to all I could listen to was the rain as it bounced down on the ground. It should have been me. She didn't deserve it. It's all my fault. I shouldn't be here. A tap on the shoulder made me turn my head to see Mr Stark.

"Come on kid time to go"

"Can I just- I want to talk to her alone please... just one last goodbye"

With a nod, Mr Stark walked off leaving me alone to say goodbye to someone who should be here. Not caring about the rain, I put my umbrella down and sat in the mud beside Aunt May's grave. I looked to the side was Ben's grave was, and next to his were my parents. The Parkers, I don't deserve to be the last one it should be May or Ben but not me!

J/Blue💧[Peter don't be stupid it should be you]

E/Red🌹<Ye If it wasn't, you wouldn't be here to kick Steve's arse for Tony>

"Hey Mom, Dad just wanted to say hi I'm sorry I never visit it's been very...busy" Looking back down I held my hand in my own.

"Aunt May, Ben I just want to say I'm so sorry for not being there in time, for not being able to save you guys in time. If it wasn't for me, you guys would be here... I'm sorry" Furiously wiping at my eyes I tried to stop the tears from falling but I failed miserably.

"I want to be with you guy's but I can't I don't even deserve to be around you at all and people need Spiderman but not Peter Parker..." Slowly standing up I wiped a bit of mud of my hands onto my suit.

"I love you guys so much never forget that and I'll see you someday" Walking towards Mr Stark's car I opened the car door sitting in without saying a word, and when we arrived at the compound I went straight to my room not speaking to anyone. I couldn't because one word could make a boy break.

Slamming my door shut I flopped on my bed and screamed, screamed for May, for Ben, then the tears came, the dam broke and I cried, then I could hear someone speak up but from inside my mind.

J/Blue💧[Peter you need to calm down]

E/Red🌹<Don't be a cry baby...>

J/Blue💧[Shut up! don't call him that right now]

E/Red🌹<Sorry... just try to cheer up Peter>

Peter❤-I can't it hurts too much to know I'll never get to see any of them ever again!

J/Blue💧[It's just going to hurt for a while Pete but you can't give up they wouldn't want that for you]

E/Red❤<If it makes you feel any better we will always know how you feel and we will always be here for you, kind of>

J/Blue💧[We are here for you mentally like your secret friends that are always here to annoy you]

Peter❤-Got that right about annoying me

E/Red🌹<But you love us, and you can't get rid of us now>

Peter❤-Maybe, thank you guys so much

J/Blue💧[Your welcome Peter anything for you]

Green🌱*Sorry to ruin the moment but we need sleep, we haven't slept in approximately 26 hours and 23 minutes*

Peter❤-It doesn't work like that I want to sleep but I just can't there are too many nightmares...

Green🌱*Just try Pete your body needs at least a few more hours of sleep, just put your music in and try to concentrate try to keep your mind off the bad things*

Peter❤-Ok... I'll give it try, goodnight guys

J/Blue💧[Good night Pete ]

E/Red🌹<Sleep tight>

Closing my eyes trying to sleep with my music lulling me to sleep my eyes finally started to fall close, feeling too heavy to keep open but as soon as they fully shut the nightmares begun laughing me in the face, mocking me...

Nightmare

Looking around all I could see was darkness like an abyss trapping me in, then I heard it. Starting off with light laughing, shouting, maybe talking? but it all soon got louder and louder making me cover my ears in pain begging for it to stop and it did. The silence confused me making me look around wearily.

"PETER!" Quickly turning around, I came face to face with Aunt May, but she looked different her lips blue and her skin pale and sickly. The thing that caught my attention most was the bullet hole in her head and as soon as I saw this I let a loud cry and fell backwards but something caught me.

"What's wrong Petey boy?" Looking behind me to see Uncle Ben all Pale and Empty looking I pushed him away with a scream trying to back away from them both as they walked towards me there was a limp in their steps reminding me of brain-dead zombies. Curling into a ball I sobbed into my knees trying to block out all sounds as they taunted me.

"What's wrong Peter, you did this!"

"This is your fault!"

"We're gone! because of you!"

"You did this!"

"Worthless!"

The insults continued until everything stopped like someone pressed pause on a movie. A hand came down on my shoulder making me flinch but bury my head into my knee's more, too scared to look.

"Peter, It's ok..." I knew that voice.

"Mr Stark?" Looking up I expected to see Mr Stark there, but he wasn't.

"Come on Peter you're ok, wake up"

"Wake up everything is fine"

End of nightmare

Shooting up from my place on the bed I looked around frantically but as soon as my eyes landed on Mr Stark I flung myself at him hugging him tight crying into his shirt.

"Shh It's ok kid, it's ok" I shook my head letting out a loud sob.

"It's not! It's my fault they are gone! and I can't bring them back I can't!!"

"I know, kid, but it's not your fault ok? it never was and never will be" Looking up at him I shook my head once again not believing him.

"But-"

"No buts kid you did nothing wrong ok? Did you pull that trigger huh? No, you didn't did you know the robber would be there? You didn't ok so it's not your fault it never will be" Nodding at him I laid my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault.

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