Twisted Soldiers

Chapter 9

The next day, Yogurt and Billy are still setting the crib up, "Krista, what's this?" Billy asked, holding up a pregnancy test that he found in the garbage. "It's not mine, I threw mine out a long time ago." I said, taking the test out of Billy's hand, and looking at it, "And why are you even looking in the garbage?" "Because I threw another piece of the directions for the crib in it and i'm trying to look for them." Billy said, "It says positive, but it's not mine, it's probably Emily's." I said, "Yoplait, is this Emily's?" I asked Yogurt, bringing the test with me to show him. "What is it?" he asked, reading the directions, I dropped the test in his lap, and he picked it up. "What?" Yogurt looked up at me. "Are y'all expecting?" Billy interrupted, clearly confused. "Psh, no." Yogurt said, with a hint of sarcasm. "It has to be hers, she's the only girl besides me in this house." "Uh, maybeee?" Yogurt said, his voice cracking at the word 'maybe'. "Billy, don't hit him, I'll be back." I said, going downstairs and opening Yogurt's door. "Don't yell at me, I know what we did was wrong." Emily said, "I wasn't gonna yell at you. I was gonna congratulate you. Billy was going to yell at Yogurt, but I stopped it." Emily looked at me, relieved. "How'd Billy find out?" she asked, teary-eyed. "Looking through the garbage for directions for the crib." I answered, "They were going to find out eventually though, so don't worry, and Billy's not mad at you." I hugged Emily, wrapping a blanket around her and leaving the basement. I walked up the stairs and went in the livingroom to lay on the couch, with my own blanket, and rubbing my temples in a circular motion. Billy plopped down on top of me. "Billy, I'm not in the fucking mood, go away." I protested, "Damn, your head still hurts?" he asked, full of shock. "Yes, now get off me." I said, trying to push him off, him being naturally stubborn, he wouldn't listen. "Please." I pleaded, "You want medicine?" "I already took ibuprofen earlier." I told him, burying my face in the blanket. Emily came upstairs to tell Yogurt that she was pregnant with his child, as she walked in the room, he got up off the floor. "Are you sure you're not pregnant?" Yogurt asked Emily, "I am." I sat up fast, covering Billy's mouth so he wouldn't say or yell anything, Yogurt's eyes went wide, "You are?" he asked quietly, trying not to scare her, Emily nodded, about to cry again. Billy slid face first on the floor, and I grabbed his leg from getting up. "This is an emotional moment for them, let them go." I yelled at him, Snuffy and Joey walked in the door, getting back from a store. "Holy fuck, what'd they do?" Joey asking Snuffy, "I have no idea." Snuffy replied. Emily stood next to Snuffy, her face stained with tears from crying. "Yogurt, what'd you do?" Joey asked again, "I did nothing." Yogurt's voice cracked again. "Hm, sounds like you hit puberty." Snuffy noticed, laughing. Yogurt was slient for a few minutes before answering, "I did not." I covered Billy's mouth again, while he was pointing at Emily, trying to tell Snuffy and Joey she got pregnant. "Billy, stop. They'll tell people when they're ready to." I said, "Oh, you're pregnant?" Snuffy asked me, "I've been." I told him, Emily piped up again, and quietly said, "I am." raising her hand up, "You are? Wait, by who? Him?" Joey pointed towards Yogurt, and Emily nodded. "Are you keeping it?" Snuffy asked, excited that there was going to be another child in the house. "Why wouldn't I not keep it?" Emily asked, "I know I wouldn't–" I said, while Billy looked at me, with his mouth wide open with a shocked expression on his face. "Uh, yes you are." Billy protested, "Doesn't mean I'd have another one. This shit hurts, Billy." I said, "Uh, you don't know that." he smirked, "You're even lucky it's yours." I said, sarcastically. "How far are you?" Snuffy asked me, "7 months." I replied, "Damn, Billy. You better wife her up." Joey said, trying to light a ciggerette, but it wouldn't light. "I already did, asshole, get out of here." Billy said, sitting on the couch, covering himself with my blanket while I sat next to him and rubbed his back. "You wanna celebrate?" Snuffy asked, holding up a bottle of Champagne. "I'd rather let somebody massage my back honestly." I said, lying on my back on the floor. "I'll pay them." I said, holding $35. Billy took it and sat on me. "Do you know how heavy you are?" I asked, "Oh, please." Billy muttered, rubbing my back with lotion. After drinking for a few hours, Snuffy and Joey found one of those big inflatable sumo wrestler costumes and since they're big enough for 3 people, they made Yogurt go in it too. "You all are nuts, holy shit." Emily said, laughing. I was dead asleep on the floor until they fell over on top of me. "Fuck all three of you." I said, getting them off. "I thought Billy was heavy, holy hell." They were laughing, almost slurring their words as they talked. "If something happens to my children, i'm suing you three." I warned, "Billy, you took her virginity and ran off with it." "What the fuck, Snuffy? What are you on?" I asked, with a shocked expression on my face, and started laughing. "Says the person who doesn't have a girlfriend or babies on the way." Billy said, smirking, drinking natural spring water. Snuffy, Yogurt, and Joey worked their way to where Billy was, and Snuffy slapped Billy across his face, leaving a big red mark where Snuffy hit him. "I object." Snuffy retorted. "It was a complete accident, I swear." Billy said, "Yeah, okay. 'Complete accident', Billy." Snuffy told him. "Ask Krista." Billy pointed at me, putting the water bottle up to his lips, drinking the water. "I have no part in this conversation. He did it, that's all I have to say." pointing at Billy as I talked. "I'm goin' to sleep, goodnight, idiots." I said with a yawn, and walking up the stairs. About four hours passed and Billy came in the room, waking me up What do you want?" I asked, tiredly and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, "Nothing, just wanted to let you know I'm leaving." he said, "Leaving?" I asked, sitting up. "Yeah, I'm going with Snuffy and them. Emily's still here." Billy told me, "I just wanted to let you know in case you wake up not seeing me here." he added, "Okay." I said, "Can I go back to sleep now?" I asked, yawning. "I brought your blanket up here." Billy smiled, covering me up with it, "You didn't have to do this." I whisper laughed at him. "I wanted to, plus it smells like me." he said with a smirk on his face, "Ew." I commented, playfully hitting him then turned on my side, bringing the blanket up to my shoulders as he walked out of the room. By the time they all left, I ended up sleeping for 5 hours. I eventually woke up and went back downstairs and turned on the tv, waiting for them to get back. "Yogurt, what the fuck are you doing?" Billy asked, grabbing the piece of paper with an address and phone number on it that a random girl, probably in her 20's gave Yogurt. "Y'all wanna go to this make out party?" Yogurt asked Billy, as he ripped the paper out of his hands, "No, I'm gonna find Snuffy and Joey, and we're goin' home." Billy retorted, Joey came up behind them, "Nah, we all got the same piece of paper with the address and phone number on it, we're goin'." Snuffy and Joey both said in unison, showing Billy the piece of paper, and giving eachother a high-five. Billy thought for a second before answering, "..You are guys are single, Yogurt and I are already spoken for, you guys can go and we'll go home." Billy yelled over the loud music. "Dude, we need a desiginated driver, and that's you Billy." Snuffy yelled as Billy rolled his eyes, "I'm not gonna drive y'all to a person's house just so you can have sex with them, no." he said, almost dragging them out to the Jeep.  "C'mon, Billy. Lighten up and have some fun!" Joey complained, patting Billy on the shoulder, "I'd rather be at home watching Growing Pains." Billy said, driving down the road, passing up a Dairy Queen. "Oooh! Let's go in there!" Snuffy said, high as a kite, Billy turned around facing him in the backseat, "Why, so you could have your late night munchies? I don't think so." Billy said, almost losing his temper. "Damn, Billy. Chill." Joey said, sipping his rum mixed whiskey. "Emily, who's at the door?" I yelled from in the kitchen, getting a bottle of water from the fridge. "I'll get it." Emily said, walking to the door in the living room, peaking her head out from inside, "Uh, hi. I'm kinda lost at the moment, and I was–" and shut it quickly. "Krista. It's Kirk Cameron! Holy shit." she said, almost hyperventilating. "No it isn't, stop lying." I told her, walking into the living room and opening the door again to find him still standing there. "Are you gonna shut the door on me too?" Kirk half-laughed, wanting to shake my hand, so I shook his back. "No, I wouldn't do that! Come on inside." I said, opening the door so he could come inside. "Nice place." Kirk said, inspecting our house. "Thank you. You uh, have nice hair." she complimented, "What a nice compliment, thank you." Kirk replied. "We're going home." Billy announced in the car, "Ugh, but Billy–." Snuffy complained, "Snuffy, no. We're going home." Billy retorted, finally getting on our street, pulling into the driveway. Snuffy opened the door. "Uh. Who the fuck is that?" Yogurt asked the two of us. "...Kirk Cameron." Emily answered, taking a sip of her water bottle, "...Okay, and how did he get here?" Billy asked, crossing his arms. "Damn, babe. Watch the attitude." I said, "He was lost, so I told him to come inside." I added, "Why, you have a problem with that?" Emily asked, "I don't, he might." Yogurt told Emily, pointing at Billy. "First of all, why'd you let him inside? Second of all, I've been literally babysitting 3 grown ass adults that've been drinking and I come home to this? Third, he's not staying here." Billy said, sitting down on the rocking chair across from me. "I didn't let him in here, Emily did, and no, you didn't have to go with them, but you wanted to, so that's on you." "I'd fuck him in a minute." Emily stated, "Uh, excuse you." Yogurt said, clearly shocked from her comment. "I'll be leaving now, bye." Kirk said, waving goodbye to everyone and shaking their hands before leaving. "You were so mean to him, Billy." Emily and I said in unison. "I've been watching a 19 year old, a 16 year old, and a 21 year old from getting completely wasted and going to a make out party." Billy was almost close to yelling now, he went upstairs and slammed the bedroom door. Everyone in the room flinched because of the loud noise. I went up to see what was bothering Billy. I opened the door quietly and jumped on him, "Why were you yelling?" I asked, "Because." he said, turning onto his back. "Because??" I repeated, confused. "I was in a bad mood and just wanted to be home. I didn't wanna be out all night partying and drinking." he told me with a little bit of an attitude. "Stop." I said laughing as he buried his face in my neck. "You're cold, stop." I kept laughing, as we both heard the fire alarm go off. "Snuffy, what'd you burn this time?" Yogurt yelled from the basement, going upstairs into the kitchen.