Twisted Soldiers

Chapter 12

Three months have passed since I gave birth to Jacob and Jax. We're all adjusting to life now since they've been here. I went to the store so Billy was looking after the babies. "Snuffy, you asshole, you woke them up." Billy whispered, trying to be quiet in the livingroom. "What? A man can't watch tv around here?" Snuffy retorted, giving Billy a dirty look, while eating some popcorn. "Go in your room and watch it." Billy said, rocking Jacob back to sleep. "I don't have one, Billy." Snuffy told him, throwing a pillow at him. "Then go in the basement with Yogurt and Emily." Billy suggested, "Just don't be loud." he added, "Okay." Snuffy said, leaving the livingroom to go down to the basement. "Yogurt, you wanna watch–" Snuffy started saying, hearing muffled whispers from Yogurt's door. Snuffy went back upstairs, "Uh, Billy. They're fucking again." he said, uncomfortably. "Again? That's the fifth time this week." Billy said, feeding Jacob. "They must be really getting at it." Snuffy wondered aloud. "I bet, must be some really good dick." Billy told Snuffy. Joey walked in the room, coming in from the kitchen. "Jesus Christ, y'all better get them a fuckin' door." Joey said, "There's this thing called privacy, and I don't have any." he said again, "Right, I was watching a movie and this fucker told me to turn it off." Snuffy said to Joey pointing at Billy. Billy put the baby down on the couch, "Guys, calm the fuck down, there's babies in the room." Billy said, finding Jax on the floor with Joey. "Uh, what're y'all doin' with my kid?" Billy asked them, "We're helping you." Joey said, sitting on the floor, feeding Jax a bottle. "How? Leaving him on the floor?" Billy asked, picking Jax up off the floor, clearly tired from being up all night. "Why're you in a mood?" Snuffy asked him, "Because I'm tired." Billy said with a little hint of an attitude. "Jesus, Billy. I was just playin'." Snuffy said, laughing. "Okay, cool." Billy said, now aggravated as he laid on the floor, his head on his arms, trying not to fall asleep. A few hours later, I came back from the store, walked in the house and found Billy lying on the floor. "Billy, get up." I said, trying to shake him awake. "Hm?" he mumbled, "C'mon, get up, I'll help you get in the bedroom." I said again, this time rubbing his back. It wasn't until I stopped rubbing his back that he answered me. "Okay." Billy said tiredly, stretching. I helped him up the stairs, and into the room. "Have a nice nap." I said, leaving the door cracked open. Going in the kitchen, I noticed Heidi was looking up motorcycles online. "You're getting a motorcycle?" I asked her, surprised, since she doesn't know a thing about them. "No, don't be silly, I was thinking of getting Billy one." Heidi told me, "So I saw this one at the Harley Davidson shop, and I'm buying it for him." she pointed at the screen, showing me a black motorcycle with white on the side. "Damn, Heidi, that's a lot of money." I said, looking at the price which was $8,699. "You sure you can afford all that?" I asked, still surprised. "Sure I can." Heidi told me. Heidi was already on her way to her new apartment when Billy woke up a couple hours later complaining that his throat and back hurt him. "Go drink some lemonade." I said, "lemonade's gross, no." Billy complained, "What did lemonade ever do to you?" I asked, laughing with my eyebrows raising. "When I was little, about 7 or 9, my mom told me while she was making lemonade that lemons burn your eyes so that I wouldn't be messing the lemonade up, and I thought she was joking, so I tried it, and I got lemon juice all up in my eye and she was right, it did burn." Billy said, sitting on the edge of table. "You're dumb as fuck, Billy, no wonder why Krista doesn't like you." Snuffy came in, high as a kite, hearing the last part of Billy's flashback. "There's a thing called curiousity, you dimwit." Billy said, "Did you just call him a dimwit?" I asked, "What the fuck, Billy." I said, slapping his hand. "Where'd you get the weed?" Billy asked Snuffy, "From a hobo." Snuffy replied, "No, seriously. Where'd you get it?" Billy asked again, "I said from a hobo. Yogurt got it from a hobo off the streets when he and Emily went to walmart, he got it in the parking lot." Snuffy told Billy. Joey asked Yogurt to interview him for a job interview and record it for him. Yogurt was reading a script, while he was telling Joey what to say. "Hi, we were wondering if there's a guy here named Shirt Sleeves Mccoy?" Joey bursted laughing, also high, repeating the name, "Shirt Sleeves Mccoy." Billy walked in the living room, "Where'd you get the weed from, Yogurt?" Billy asked Yogurt, his fatherly side coming out. "From a hobo in a walmart parking lot, why?" Yogurt replied, "That could be mixed with some shit." Billy retorted, crossing his arms. "No it's not, I wouldn't take it if it was." Yogurt tried saying, "You can't do this type of shit anymore, you have 3 kids now." Billy told Yogurt. "Like you don't do this. You mix fucking mouthwash with vodka. That's worse." Yogurt retorted, "In all my years of being 20, I think I did way worse shit than you have, bud." he told Yogurt. Yogurt and Joey kept working on Joey's interview as Yogurt kept repeating lines for him, "Are you ready for the next one, Joey?" Yogurt asked, "Yeah." Joey replied, "Alright, for this one, you gotta walk up to somebody, and say this: 'What would you do if I were to dick you down right now?' can ya do that?" Yogurt instructed as best he could. "I guess." he replied again. Joey walked up to Snuffy, and asked "What would you do if I were to dick you down right now?" "Probably slap you in the face and call you an asshole." Snuffy said, crossing his arms. "Why?" Snuffy asked, "Yogurt told me to say it to somebody, so I did." Joey said to Snuffy. "Uh, why'd he say that to me?" Snuffy asked Yogurt again. "Sh. It's for his interview, be quiet." Yogurt retorted, bringing his finger to his lips. "Y'all are high as fuck." I said, eating a KitKat, giving half to Snuffy. "Where's the half you gave me?" Billy asked me, "In the fridge where you left it." I told him, "No, that's gone, I ate that a while ago." Joey chimed in. "You fucker." Billy said, rolling out his 'r' sound. "You didn't tell me you were gonna eat it." Joey retorted, stepping up to Billy. "Fuck off my KitKat, you asshole." Billy said, "Billy, why you gettin' so heated over a KitKat?" Yogurt asked, recording him and Joey with his camera. "Billy, there's more in the fridge, oh my god." I said, sitting on the floor. "Stop getting so heated over a damn KitKat." I told him, hitting him. "KitKats are my favorite, pfftt." Billy said, pouting. "Here, you want a LemonHead?" I gave him and Snuffy a LemonHead. They put it in their mouths at the same time, and looked at eachother, realizing how sour it was. Yogurt was recording this, as he thought it was genuinely funny. "Sour?" I asked, laughing with Emily. They were both sweating, "Is it really that sour?" all of us asked at the same time as they were spitting the LemonHead out. "Yes, why'd you give us that?" Snuffy said, regretting eating it, "I thought'd be funny." I objected, "I think all the saliva on my tongue got burned." Billy said, as we all laughed again. "Stop being so dramatic, it was funny." we all said, "Yeah, uh, sure it is. Watching us get our saliva burned off our tongues." Snuffy said, "You guys are worse than girls, shut the fuck up." Emily told them, Yogurt finally shutting the camera off, ending the recording.