Little Blue Space Boy

Chapter 2

//Keith's POV//

I brought him into my lap completely. He looked genuinely scared. I looked to my left and saw a small pacifier lodged between a framed picture and a book to keep it hidden. I grabbed it and gently put it to his mouth. He tried to push it away, but after a while (15-20 seconds) he complied and allowed me to put the dummy in his mouth. He began to suckle on it cautiously, trying to gain some type of reaction from me. I watched as it bobbed up and down at a slow pace, the small ticking-like noise that come from his pacifier grew more quiet, and he seemed to have relaxed. So he's a little. I get why he hasn't told anyone, but trying to care for himself while he's in headspace isn't good for him. Once he finally realized I have no intention of mocking him and that I don't have a disgusted look on my face, he completely relaxed in my hold. I bounced him lightly in my arms, the boy was quite light, and he seemed smaller than usual.

"It's alright Lance, you can relax, I'm not going to judge you," I cooed quietly. He snuggled into my chest a bit. I wonder why he regresses. I mean some people do it just because they like it, others have found it to be helpful with coping with certain things. The only reason I knew this was because one of my few friends from the Garrison was a little. Like Lance, he hid it from everyone. I found out later on and agreed to "take care" of him for a while. He had a hard childhood and regressing was his way of regaining that bit of innocence we have as small children. Unless you're like Lance's cousin, according to him... that kid was a devil right from the start. But Lance always seemed to have a glint if happiness talking about the little guy, no matter how annoying Lance made him out to be, you could tell he loved him.

I snapped from my thoughts as I heard a small snore. I looked down to find him asleep. I gently laid him on the bed and went to look around his room. I found a small journal hidden beneath layers of papers within a drawer. I opened it. It's a diary... sorta, I mean it's titled "Journal" but really it's a diary.

"Have you ever wondered why we even live? I mean, we live, just to die at some point. We're meant to enjoy life, but what if you just find it impossible to enjoy? What's the point of confiding people if they just leave? I left, I left my big brother, not intentionally... but I left. I didn't want to become a paladin of Voltron, yet here I am... flying a gigantic blue robo-cat and fighting off purple aliens who want to destroy the universe. Sounds just like some Sci-fi movie you'd find on TV. He's always been there for me, and now I left him. He probably thinks I'm dead. Or that I ran off, without telling anyone. He's the only one whose ever understood me. Cause he was there, he was there the night my father murdered our family leaving us two to live on the streets until people from the Garrison found us. I watched as he murdered my big sister, whom I loved so much. I watched as he killed my little brother and sister who were only 2 months old. I was going to be a big brother, guess I'll always just be a baby. And I watched as he killed my mom. My mom whose been with me and supported every decision I've made up till that day. He killed her, not even showing any signs of guilt on his face. The worst part is, he laughed. Like a physco, sorta reminds me of Pidge's laugh when Keith is about to murder me for messing up his training sequence. An evil one. But Pidge's laugh is funny, her's isn't meant to be mean and cruel, his was exactly that, mean and cruel. I hid at the Garrison for years, in my brother's bunker before Pidge and Hunk found me when I turned eleven. But I told them I was sixteen. Nobody knows it, but I'm really the youngest person on the Voltron team. Everyone is seventeen and up, and I'm here at fifteen. Not only that, but I'm also beloved to be one of the tallest members, but I wear stunts in my shoes. I'm not really tall at all, I'm actually shorter than Keith. And now I use age regressing to cope with the loss of my family. My brother had supported me while at the Garrison, but I've lost my only line of support now. I'm thousands if not millions of light years- probably not light years- away from him now. I'm glad I'm a good actor, if the rest of the team knew that I'm actually this depressed and sad and shit, they'd probably pity me. That's one thing I hate. Pity. I don't need pity, I just need a friend. Someone I can rely on. But there's no one here that's my age, and I'm scared to tell people my secrets. I don't like opening up, but to keep myself from being qualified to go to some insane asylum, I write them down in the journal. Though, I probably already qualify to go to one of those. I wouldn't know, last time I went to a therapist, all they did was prescribe me pills to help with my depression and anxiety. But the drugs never seem to work. It's like life legit doesn't want me to be happy, not even chemical enfused happiness is granted to me. Nothing works. So now, I live under a facade, a cocky, flirty, happy, facade. And everyone seems to buy it. No one knows, hopefully no one will even know. No one should have to be burdened with me. I'M the reason my family's dead, my father abused me and hated me so much that it lead to my family getting hurt in the process of hurting me. I'M a mistake. I'M worthless. I'M... a fucked up teen who's overly emotional and needs to get his shit straight."

Reading this, completely changed my view on Lance. First off, he's really only fifteen. He's just a kid.

"SO GROW UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE AN IMMATURE CHILD."

Second, he's actually had a rough childhood. I may have been an orphan, it at least I didn't have to witness my parent's and siblings' murder by my own father. Plus, being abused by him. Then I remembered...

Lance came out of Shiro's room with a large red mark on his face. Now I can hear it clearly...

"SLAP"

He'd been through so much, yet he hides it under a facade just so we wouldn't pity him, pity will only make his emotinal hurting more painfull...

"No, no please... don't hurt me. I'll do anything."

I set down the journal and walk back over the Lance's sleeping form. I place a small kiss on his head as he begins to wake up.

"T-Thanks. I'm sorry, it just happened... I didn't mean to slip... it was an accident I swear," he rambled, his post-sleep voice a bit scratchy. I gently stroked his hair back

"It's alright Lance, I don't mind. Here, from now on, if you ever need someone, or if you feel like you're slipping, come to me. I'll help. I'll keep this a secret, I swear I won't tell anyone," I said as I began tracing random shapes absentmindedly on his back. He looked over to his journal.

"You read it?" He asked. I simply nodded, I didn't feel like lying to him. He looked down. "So you know then, about everything. My age, my family, my depression, my height... practically everything." He said. I just nodded once more.

"I know we're 'rivals' or whatever, but just know that I'm always here for you. And trust me, I'm not doing this out of pity, I actually care for you Lance. Which is why I'm asking you this. Even if you lie, I already know the truth, and I'll be here with you anyways.... are you ok?" I asked.

"No, I'm not okay."